I woke up super late today and everything went super slowly. I just stayed at home until like 4pm+ then I went out. Carrying my guitar and my bag I look like a run away musician. Nothing eventful on my trip out today. Perhaps seeing a girl on the bus that somewhat looked like her. But still if you count that eventful, then ya. Its the only that happened.
As I look at her, through the webcam that is, I am very sure she is what I want in a girlfriend. I can see myself being with someone like her. Just that she isn't the one. Oh God, I dont understand what you are doing. I'm so really envious of him. Ok, I wont rattle about him, it'll come to no good.
As I was talking to her on the phone, I told her I'll give her my blessing with him. She said, have you finally thought through about it? I was like no. It isn't that. I have no choice. I cant be holding on to something I cannot have. He is no fool to give what he cannot keep - a verse in the bible. I'm really sad. So sad I think I cant describe it.
Now I don't know why I don't wanna call her. I don't know why I cant find anything to say to her. I know its not that I don't want to, but I just cant. I want to talk to her. I wanna hear her voice but I don't know what to say. Ok, maybe I'll try to talk to her. I know my feelings affect her and I'll try to be happy. I'm not posting this now (10.19pm) I'll do it later. Don't want her to read and feel affected. Not now at least.
I know you have moved on. I don't even hope that you'll hold anymore feelings for me. Maybe I just don't know to be happy around you sometimes.
Girl, its hard for me to put all these feelings aside. I pray that you'll be patient with me. You're all that I wanted and to give it up is just like asking me to do the impossible. I'm sorry.
As usual, you make me smile and cry...
2 comments:
i said i wan to slp but i didnt. cos i know you are not in the right mood to talk to me. see you tml then. 1pm at pasir ris. =)
sheesh, I didn't know you'll still be awake... argh! hate myself.
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