Madness

I'm ranting on and on
I need to rant
I need to let out somewhere

I decided to let go of everything. Its turning me crazy but I hope the madness ends soon. I wanna die. I wanna leave everything behind. I wanna live a new life or if I could go back in the past and rectify. I wanna smile. I wanna be happy around everyone

I dont wanna see them. I dont wanna feel hurt. I dont wanna be down. I dont wanna hate anyone. I dont wanna live a life like this. I dont wanna hate him.

I'm just going mad!

Going back into what I was last time is just like saying that all I have said in the past are lies. Things like I wanna make her happy. I wanna maintain the friendship. I wanna love her with 25% of my heart. Being like this makes me a LIAR!

But I dont know what else to do. I cannot lead her on. I need to let her get back on track with him. There is so much I need to let her do that hurts me! WTH?!?!?!

I wanna call her and talk to her right now. I wanna just spend time with her. But in all these I cannot have any hopes. Seriously I'm going crazy. So many aspect of this and that.

I wanna SSSSSCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so hurt, broken, wasted, whatever word I can find to say. I need someone like you. Really. Save me, I beg you, anyone, someone. SAVE ME!