I just came back from playing LAN. Well this time it didn't go too well. I couldn't concentrate after talking to her. I am an idiot. Yes I know she reads this blog. Yes I know that the post was an insult to her. I know all of it. But this blog is my let out area. I'm really sorry things came out like that. I wont defend myself on the feelings and emotions that was on that post. I just needed to let it out.
I'm really really sorry girl. I have no idea how many times I've said that to you already. I know its never enough to cover up the insult that has been made. I'm truly sorry. When I wrote that, I made an apology note cause I know how you would have reacted to it. But I guess it is very insensitive of me to post it publicly. As such I have decided to make this for private viewing only.
I'm really sorry things had to happen this way. You know the reason why I reacted like this. I have a overwhelming amount of feelings for you. But I know its not an excuse to say anything to cover up now. I admit I was wrong to think of him this way. I was childish.
I did not act or think rationally. Maybe I couldn't. My head is in a mess. I don't think I can sleep now. Or even if I do, I don't think I'll sleep well. I'm sorry. So really really sorry. There isn't enough times said for you to forgive me though I wish you would. Would you forgive me?
now i wish the pain of a bite, or as many as needed, is able redeem me
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