I don't know what to type or what to write. I'm just happy because I talked to her for more than 2 hours on the phone :) I read her old blog from the first entry all the way to the last. Now I know a little more about her and I still like her.
I'm not angry with God over the fact that He isn't allowing me to be with her. I know her fears and I know that its real. I just hope that my fairytale story would come true. I know I wont stop loving her, even in years to come, even when I'm married and all. 25% of this heart would remain hers and hers only. It might increase depending on what happens in the future but it'll NEVER decrease. I'm very sure about that.
It is very true what my sister val said to me, " its also the feelings she gives. someone can possess all these qualities. but the feeling may not be there as well. " I'm glad she understood what I felt. That was exactly it. There might be another girl who is pretty and whose character is just like her. But even if I like her, she might not like me. Or even if I manage to win her heart, it just isn't the same. The feelings involved just isn't the same.
I really don't know. Sometimes I wish in 5 years time, when things are settled, I can go to her and propose and then get married. The only thing that is holding me back is God. What is life going to be like? I wanna just be done with NS and go to Australia to study. I cant wait to learn more about being a sound engineer.
I'm still young? perhaps. But I really do want a long courtship. Why? cause I think there are lots of beautiful memories in courtships. Besides the journey of getting to know a person more and more is really exciting. And when it ends up in marriage, its a nice climax to a sweet ending of courtship and a new beginning of a life together. That is what I wish my life to be like with her.
i wish i am a writer...
i wanna write her cinderella story
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