I cant sleep tonight

I went to read her blog... going as far back as I can. I cant sleep tonight. I feel weird. Sad happy.

She had been with him for 1year++. and with me, barely weeks. I feel weird. really. My head is going mad.

I wanna scream "I LOVE YOU GLENDA!!!"

but there are so much other things that comes along with that. the more I read the more I'm in love with her. I wonder why I gave her up. I wonder why I had to be mad at her. I wonder why I gamed so much. I wonder why Lord, I wonder. I wonder too why now that I love her so much, the situation has to be so difficult. Lord, what is your will for me? Isn't she the one? I really do feel like we were made for each other. Isn't it Lord? isnt it?

I wonder about my life. Did You Lord just used her to make me human again? I know I've failed you many times Lord. I know I barely became human. Gaming my life away. Doing things that aren't helpful in the furtherance of Your Kingdom. If Lord you are using her to bring me back to humanity, then are you going to take her away from me? Did you reserve her for me? If she is the one Lord, I have received my punishment already haven't I? Please don't take her away Lord. Please don't...

I know I'm not being fair to my brother Jac. I know Lord. But, life isn't fair. Besides its all perspective. Its the attitude that determines the situation. Lord, please give me an answer, give her one too as she seeks you. I'm afraid of the answer Lord. I really am. Just in case its not in my favour. That is why I'm worried.

Lord, I pray and ask that You be merciful to me please. I need more of Your Grace, more of Your favour. In fact Lord, I just want You. I want you to be in this Love I have for her. That you be the one ruling it. Lord I Love her. Please don't her away from me... please.

im becoming human because she made me one.
im becoming what i am Lord cos you allowed her to touch me.