Stiff Neck

Yesterday I woke up with a stiff neck. Today, it still ain't gone. Feeling like shit man. As if being emotionally unstable isn't bad enough. I have to endure this bloody stiff neck. It hurts like crazy and its very very irritating.

I have no idea why I have this deep conviction that she will marry him. I really don't know why. All I know is that I still love her no matter what. Yes, I'm upset, moody knowing that they are having fun outside. I tried to have fun, but I can't.

I get affected when I receive her sms or when I talk to her. Its the after effect that I always suffer. I want her to sms me. I wanna talk to her on the phone still. But these things do affect me. When she sms-ed me when I was gaming with nick on his new xbox 360, I totally couldn't concentrate after. Worse still if she stopped msging me. I don't know. I think I'm F**ked.

Half of me wanna make her jealous, the other half of me wanna just make her happy. I'm so torn I really don't know which side to listen to and act. The Lord knows my weakness, so does she. As long as any nice looking girl, comes along the way and response with the same feelings, I'm a goner. But after this, I know what to look out for before being a goner. Yes, I must look for someone like my best friend.

Today I attempted to do some tabs and leads writing for the songs that we are gonna record. I think I made some progress, hopefully I can get some help from anyone. I'm super new to playing lead stuffs and I desperately need any form of help I can get.

I know I sound selfish and self-centered and most of all A male chauvinist PIG saying this. But I feel that he has no other mates. So she kinda have to sacrifice. I know I'm evil to say, this. I'm REALLY VERY SORRY to have said that. but on a more comforting note, you have your guardian Archangel, ME, to do anything for you. That 25% is inexhaustible so just make use of it alright? :) I know for one, first on my list there is a Vodka moon to attain when its available :)

I wonder how long it'll take before I'll be more or less alright? I think on my side, being like this is ok. just hope for lesser mood swings. and I hope that on her side, those feelings won't disappear. the day my words don't count for anything, would be the day my heart will stop beating. Having them is alright. So as long as we know our line.

i am so afraid,
when one day i awake,
you would stand there saying,
that your feelings are all dead.

i will take your hand in mine,
and look you in your eye,
promising that forever,
in paradise we shall lie.

and so with all old feelings gone,
the warmth of love that comes along,
into my arms that she had longed,
embracing each other no longer forlorn.

-vin