Long tiring day...

There are many self help books like "How to keep your day happy" kinda stuff out there in bookstores but I know my remedy. Yes that is her. Talking to her every morning and night is a good start to the day and a good end to any day.

It has been a long day for me. I woke up at 6.30am on sun morn and I just got home now. I went to the airport with the gang to pick Sherman up. He just came back from Perth.

This is a usual sun of me going to church early cause I'm playing the guitar and then went for YABF, then YABF committee meeting. After the meeting I went to Hui Juan's place, cook dinner, came home for 15mins then out again with the gang. I am tired. But I'm happy.

It was fun cooking at Hui Juan's place. We have many chefs there, Joel, Hui Juan, Lee Cher and myself. I just helped out in the preparation and abit of cooking and grilling. Well I must say thanks to the many hands, we were actually very fast. We watched The Last Samurai while having dinner. I loved that show.

So after dinner, I came home, left my bag down, talked to her on msn and then went out again. I think the best time of the day for me today was talking to her. I talked to her for 52.56mins on my HANDPHONE! taking that per min its 20cents, I have spent SGD$10.51, which means I'm going to get nagged soon. But I think its fine with me. I really dont mind being nagged at and all in exchange to talk to her.

She said that for me to be angry with him is childish and she is very disappointed with me. I agree. He hasn't done anything wrong and besides I'm the one at fault. Well, if this is childish, I don't mind being childish then. I just like you too much. In fact, I wont be angry with the guy if it was someone else. Someone who can give you a better life. Someone who can actually give you more than just love. I don't wanna see you suffer. Instead of being a beautiful tai tai, you become a huang nian po. I DON'T WISH TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS.

Oh well, I cant stop talking to her. We just have too much to talk about to each other. Random and all its still nice. She is really very adorable. Love her to bits. I can just be like this all the way, loving and caring her with out the closeness of being a couple. Why? its the relationship that I treasure. I try as much as I can not to ignore her unless there are certain people around. Other than that I treat her very well in fact :D

I think I'm beginning to have fun hanging out with the the gang and they have accepted me as one of them. I only started going out with them so often and so long in the past few weeks so I'm glad that they have accepted me. They take alot of things off my mind too. We just hang out act stupid and have fun :)

I thought of something today. I thought that its really interesting. I know my life and how it is. I mean I know what kinda life I wanna live and what I wanna do cause I know generally what God wants me to do. So I'm wondering why does God put her in my life yet not allow me to be with her?

She has all that I need as a wife. Someone very capable and with the qualities I'm looking for in a wife. Not only that, God has given us feelings for one another yet because of God we cant be together. If I am sad or regret of anything, I only feel sad and regret that she cant be part of my life. Not that its very glamourous or anything, but with her it looks complete. I almost cried saying that. My heart did, but I couldn't cause there were people around. My dear sister val said this when I told her about this. She said, " You must not cry. You're a boy and you must be strong." I'm not crying cause I'm trying to be strong. But I really do feel this pain and sadness of not being able to share my life with her when I really really so do wish to.


so many times i've type this words,
but today i'll still tell the world.
i wish for no any other girl,
just a girl exactly like her.