can your best friend be he one you love the most? can your best friend be with someone you hate? can the one you love the most be with someone who isnt better than you?
can all these be true?
how would you related to her? how can you take each stabbing truth? can I cope with the emotional hurt? can I live like this throughout this lifetime?
Its like you enjoy talking to her, but hearing of life events that she share with that guy, can you feel not affected? can you look at it, pretending you didnt hear it so that you wont feel hurt and angry?
I guess its really very hard to forget a first love. When its really very much love at first sight. The Chemistry that exist between the two person. The standard that every other girl is being measured by. I can imagine myself going out with someone else but when she isnt exactly like her, I would just walk away cause I know I can never be happy with her.
Its like I dont know to behave as a human. If I were to have a gathering, I would invite her and that guy's brother cause his brother is really nice to me. I wont have him around to spoil my day. But when it come to events that concern her would be my most hurtful time. She would want me there and he would definitely be there too. Everyone present would know that they are together and probably make them do something couples do like kiss her or something.
Do I apologise for my absence and make her up set? or do I just absorb all the hurts and pain? I probably would do the latter and when everything is over drink myself to sleep. Life is so hard. I'm being so tortured. Like a cancer patient being tormented by the virus in the body, I'm tormented by love. Being love sick is not fun at all. Looking at her walk away with another guy is enough to bring suicide into my head.
I guess that is for me to be an outstanding musician. To be so utterly hurt and torn apart so that I can write sad melodies and lyrics that the world out there can relate to and gain comfort in knowing that there are others out there in the same situation.
I really dont know how my future in terms of relationship would be like. My future for career is more or less settled. I know what I wanna become. but will I be successful and have a woman behind my back or be an average single guy living day to day.
In Jay Chou's song, I'm really stranded. I can feel the loneliness that has been isolated at the side for me. Laughing at the promises I cant afford to give. He is really a man who has probably been through life really harshly. Being walked out on by a girl he loved. His songs have exactly articulate my feelings. One day I really wanna look back at all these and hopefully answer my questions that are here.
why him? why?
i wonder if you knew how much i loved you?
i wonder if you still have any love for me?
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