"But while playing captain's ball, I wanted to be with her, but I never got to. I almost wanted to kill someone. ----> if u gonna kill him, u know i will kill u. no matter who the person is"

I know she loves him more than me. No matter what she do, make me jealous or anything to hurt me I'll still love you and wait for you. My heart can be hurt a million times, wrenched a million times, stabbed a million times. Its not whole anymore, so any further damage wont make a difference. I'm like a living dead. I'm damn sure that if I am ever with another girl, she'll be freaking jealous of you. I'm quite sure that girls have a sixth sense to know if the guy loves them wholeheartedly or not. I cant love her wholeheartedly.

One day I'll get sick of feeling hurt. Or probably so damn hurt that I can look at hurt itself and smile. Or maybe worst still, I need to get hurt to feel humane. I cant get over you no matter what. The only way to do so is that you'll have to kill me. I dont know what to say anymore. I'm glad that I've loved you. I just pray some day you'll love me too.

I need to drink again tonight. I need to drink myself to sleep.

if i hurt you in the past, im sorry.
i'm serving my sentence now. being hurt a million times more.