I know he is still lingering in your thoughts and you are about to swear off love altogether. Funny how now you meet more of my kind than the other huh? Life is funny. It always (more often than not) goes against our wants. I am just glad that now we are starting to talk. Maybe I'll have to take things real slow, skype now and then and see where this goes. I know now priority goes back to providing for your family again. Not that it wasnt before, but then life was easier having that love you wanted. Well, maybe you could try again soon, when you are ready. My love for you would always stick around. I really look to the day where you will come to me "manja-ing" after a day at work or just having a chat being you yourself. You have no idea how happy I am just to see you. It boost my morale straight away. To me, you are better than red bull or any boutique coffee. I think if anyone is feeling tired or moody, just think of someone whom you love and I think that would really keep you going. I never experience such a thing before till now. It feels great! I think that is how our love relationship with Jesus should be. He motivates and keeps us going. Knowing that perfect love keeps out all fear and that we can go that extra mile. I hope that this could be the beginning of something special and hopefully we'll eventually be together, one sweet day.
On another note, after talking to Joyce today I really am giving myself 5 more years to make it. By the grace of God I have to somehow make it. 5 years may seem a lot at first, but it really isnt. If by my calculations and prediction/projection, by then I should almost reach a professional level(semi-pro?). And by the 8th year, a full fledged career running. 3 more years to graduation. I hope to spend 1 year in US and 1 year in Bangkok. I know its kinda too much to have my parents supporting me still, but I am thankful to them for supporting me thus far in chasing my dreams and calling. I dont know what lies ahead. But I am confident in the Faithful One who has called me. Not by my abilities nor by my efforts, but by His Spirit and His will, all things will be made beautiful. I am excited. I really am.
Perfect Love conquers all fear. I will continue to persevere though its hard.
...Nobody said that it was easy, no one ever said that it would be this hard...
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