Knotted

My heart is in a knot. A girl, whom I thought would be my first love, someone whom I really thought would be my wife never did happen. Subsequently I dated a Delilah, but couldnt shake her off for a while. And then there was this Godly woman whom I thought might be the one, but she too never did really take off with me.

Too bad for me I often thought. I know God told me to guard my heart and perhaps that is why I never really tried to make any thing happen. I guarded my heart, but some times I try to open it up a little, just to see if any sparks would fly.

Met someone in KL, thought maybe I should give it a try, but that Voice within my head, tells me to stop and wait. Last semester break, I met up with an old crush. She is God loving, mission focused and a nurse. Been out with her twice so far, but I dont know where this might be leading to. So far, we are just friends.

Now in this new semester, another Godly woman has appeared and my mind is telling me to GO FOR IT. Well, I have no idea if she is Godly or not yet, but all I know is that she is a Christian.

As much as my mind is logically saying to just go for it, my heart is guarded and waiting out to see His promises come through. What I realised today is that back then when I really like Christina Aguileria, that fact hasnt changed a bit today. Still pretty much in love with her, perhaps its all but just a dream.