Information Overload

"Its the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter" Proverbs 25:2

Today I had too much at one go. At least I am satisfied with all the information I have, but what I am struggling with is, what is next?

So it happened that my best buddy's girlfriend was looking for a lunch partner and I happened to be free. We went for lunch together and we just started talking about stuffs in college and life. We are good friends cause we hangout a lot and as we talked, our topic hit something that I was dying to know all these while.

We hit the topic about her and my buddy being together and the ex... the ex that I am now interested in. As a friend she gave me warnings and told me like how she was then. I know this is a very one sided story, but I was neither shocked or surprised. It was just a confirmation of what I have been thinking about.

Its a long story, but I think I would just type some of my thoughts here. I finally understood why she needed space. She isnt one who is like this actually. After the break up she had to learn to be independent and space is something she is learning to have. I can see how important relationships (not just those BGRs) are to her. She values them a lot. I also understood why she says that she is a tomboy, evil person, yada yada, cause past experiences has haunted her mind and the greatest reason why she said that she is single but unavailable and that she is unavailable even if there is no guy chasing her.

Her heart has been taken.

So basically, today or last night, the reason why I am still up typing this at this hour is because I hung out with her and my housemate and her 'mummy' (who is a guy actually) from 8:45pm till 2am. We were just chilling and talking. I must say that after observing her I might not like her as I used to. But there is this lingering feeling I have for her.

I dont wanna be a rebound (if she ever) guy yet I do wanna have a go with her. There is something special about her that I just cant place.

But more importantly I had a good conversation with DADDY. I realise that He is answering my cry. I have been on an emotional swing the last few days, not knowing what to do. (I realise that one thing that would kill me the most is not knowing what I need to know. There are somethings that I really need to know.) He allowed me to know the story and observe it for myself. Am I willing to train a princess from a place/state like that?

Actually I dont even know how to begin with her. I feel incompetent to even help her when she needs help. I am her junior and I need her help more than she needs mine. Plus she is older and I wonder if in the future, who would be bring bread to the table. Well, that is not important for now, but its a good consideration.

Why DADDY keeps saying to guard my heart. Imagine I progressed with her, I might not even know if I am he rebound guy or not. If He doesnt let me consider and fight and discuss with Him about her, I might not even be serious at the end of the day and I end up hurting her and myself. I've learned today that taking things slow has its benefits and 1 week, 2 weeks aint slow man. Somethings like this may need up to a month or more.

Somehow I realised that girls I like are mostly independent when they are single. But once they are in a relationship, they become a dependent sticky pot. Not a bad thing but I need my freedom and I need an independent girl. I really hope that this girl has learned to be independent, regardless of being in a relationship or not. And I might have to wait it out for her to be ready to move on and not just be in a relationship to forget or for rebound.

Well, I am more emotionally stable now cause I know that I have many factors to consider. I might deliberate more now and talk to DADDY about it more to get His insights. He surely knows best and I love Him so very much and I wanna thank Him for all that He has done for me. Thank You DADDY!