I am so in love with her right now. She as good as she is in studios or in live performances! Though the venue is lousy and the waiting time a crazy thing, it was all worth it when she started singing and then had an autograph/photo taking session with us fans! She is 100% real, no lip-sync and she plays the guitar well.
I am mesmerised. I mean she is all that I look for in a girl, she is very very pretty (I like girls who are mixed blood), she has a sweet voice ( and she is able to sing very well) and she plays the guitar (its a Gibson Humming Bird Modern Classic)!!! That is why I am so attracted to her. She inspires me to write songs man, seriously.
This is the closest I've gotten to a celebrity who's so friendly that she talks to you, gives you a hug, takes a picture with you and signs poster, CD covers all at the same time. I think her personality has won many over.
I was even bold enough to ask her if I could go on tour with her some day! and she replied with a Yea, sure! :D
You know, at this moment now I feel really bad. I felt like I betrayed God cause I'm idolising someone else. I dont wanna give excuses, but this is kinda mixed cause I'm also in love with her. Ok for an example, if this is a Jay Chou concert, that would be idolising, its really admire + more. But somehow, I am not drawn to worship them like I would with God. I wont bow on my knees before them. If I have to renounce them I would, cause they may be a name today but forgotten tomorrow. Jesus and the Bible have been around for thousands of years already. And I really know God the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I have a relationship with them and they are above all in my life. So I hope that is clear enough about where I stand in this.
Putting all that aside, I really am looking for a girl like Mariè Digby and who loves Jesus and knows that God the Father loves her very very much. Oh Lord, is this too much to ask for?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
To me, its just another day, really.
I didnt think about/feel like blogging until like 5mins ago. Why? Cause as I was looking through some youtube videos and wondering what's next in my life I felt something different.
Watching the videos, I felt like I wanna buy another guitar. Why? Cause I want something that is like vintage. Think Gibson Humming Bird True Vintage VOS. But the price is hefty, so while I was thinking about how much it would have me to save up, another thought came into my mind.
Yes, career. What job would I be doing? I seriously need a job to keep up with my dream of having a collection of guitars. Diverting a little, here's my dream. One Martin(of which model I have not yet decided), one Taylor(probably a fall limited adirondack top with cocobolo back and sides), one mcpherson(full walnut body) and one Gibson Humming Bird True Vintage VOS. Probably 2 electric guitars and one tama drumset, a Korg keyboard. This could probably look like my home studio gear setup, but this is just the instruments. Recording gears arent in yet!!! O-M-Gosh!
Thinking about all these just got me nervous and anxious about my future and the career that I need. Yes, I might not need everything, its a want, but still... I'm getting torn between that dream and God's reality for me.
So with career and thinking about my immediate future which is my studies, I'm just thinking about where to enroll in and how long before I graduate and find a job. Which led to thinking about marriage and then girlfriend. How much money to save up for marriage and all that. Thinking about all these I realise that dating at 22 isnt too young when I hope to be married before 30.
I am really having a lot of thoughts going through my head at 1237 in the morning. All thanks to my afternoon nap that went on for too long. Oh well!
In anycase, Happy 22nd to myself. Its just another day for me, really. I dont need to celebrate and party away every birthday.
Just a new guitar, a loving girlfriend and a secure job is all that I wish for now. This aint too much isnt it Dear Father?
Watching the videos, I felt like I wanna buy another guitar. Why? Cause I want something that is like vintage. Think Gibson Humming Bird True Vintage VOS. But the price is hefty, so while I was thinking about how much it would have me to save up, another thought came into my mind.
Yes, career. What job would I be doing? I seriously need a job to keep up with my dream of having a collection of guitars. Diverting a little, here's my dream. One Martin(of which model I have not yet decided), one Taylor(probably a fall limited adirondack top with cocobolo back and sides), one mcpherson(full walnut body) and one Gibson Humming Bird True Vintage VOS. Probably 2 electric guitars and one tama drumset, a Korg keyboard. This could probably look like my home studio gear setup, but this is just the instruments. Recording gears arent in yet!!! O-M-Gosh!
Thinking about all these just got me nervous and anxious about my future and the career that I need. Yes, I might not need everything, its a want, but still... I'm getting torn between that dream and God's reality for me.
So with career and thinking about my immediate future which is my studies, I'm just thinking about where to enroll in and how long before I graduate and find a job. Which led to thinking about marriage and then girlfriend. How much money to save up for marriage and all that. Thinking about all these I realise that dating at 22 isnt too young when I hope to be married before 30.
I am really having a lot of thoughts going through my head at 1237 in the morning. All thanks to my afternoon nap that went on for too long. Oh well!
In anycase, Happy 22nd to myself. Its just another day for me, really. I dont need to celebrate and party away every birthday.
Just a new guitar, a loving girlfriend and a secure job is all that I wish for now. This aint too much isnt it Dear Father?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Love and what it does
Love... it does a million (gazillion as Clare would say it) things to you.
Love cause you to do crazy things. When you're in love, you wanna do anything for the person. You wanna give her anything she asks of, you would even try to grab the stars that are out of reach for her. You'll do anything to make her feel special and to see her smile.
Love cause you to feel like you could die in place of the other person. It causes you to go through thick and thin with another.
Love causes you to leave your comfort zone and go to places where no one else would, just to reach out to the less fortunate.
Love, that is from God covers a multitude of sins. That is why Christ died.
And what Ps. Eng Kiat is doing in Thailand is out of the Love God has lavished on Him that he wants to show God's love to the people there. Yet people still reject the love that he gives which take time and life out of him, something that he could have spent with his family. Nevertheless, I know he never stopped loving.
Love of a family of believers is amazing as well. The Love gift WanHsi received blew her away. And we really love and act out of love for one another because we have experienced the love that God has given us. I really do embrace the love that this group has given me. Especially from my God-parents and my new elder God sister. They believe in me and in what God would do through me. As for the other members, I can freely share the Godly love with them because of what I have received, all of the above and also from my earthly parents and family who treats me with this much love.
I'm feeling much loved. By everyone around and by God the Father. He loved me too much to let be just like that. And you if you think that I'm typing this only because I am falling in love, thats only like 10% of the reason. God is love. And that is why Love never fails!
Love cause you to do crazy things. When you're in love, you wanna do anything for the person. You wanna give her anything she asks of, you would even try to grab the stars that are out of reach for her. You'll do anything to make her feel special and to see her smile.
Love cause you to feel like you could die in place of the other person. It causes you to go through thick and thin with another.
Love causes you to leave your comfort zone and go to places where no one else would, just to reach out to the less fortunate.
Love, that is from God covers a multitude of sins. That is why Christ died.
And what Ps. Eng Kiat is doing in Thailand is out of the Love God has lavished on Him that he wants to show God's love to the people there. Yet people still reject the love that he gives which take time and life out of him, something that he could have spent with his family. Nevertheless, I know he never stopped loving.
Love of a family of believers is amazing as well. The Love gift WanHsi received blew her away. And we really love and act out of love for one another because we have experienced the love that God has given us. I really do embrace the love that this group has given me. Especially from my God-parents and my new elder God sister. They believe in me and in what God would do through me. As for the other members, I can freely share the Godly love with them because of what I have received, all of the above and also from my earthly parents and family who treats me with this much love.
I'm feeling much loved. By everyone around and by God the Father. He loved me too much to let be just like that. And you if you think that I'm typing this only because I am falling in love, thats only like 10% of the reason. God is love. And that is why Love never fails!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Its what the Lord has done for me
Its been almost a month since I last blogged and so much seemed to have happened in this short period of time. In all honesty, I dont know what to say, how to begin and all I wanna do now is Praise God.
Thank you Jesus for redeeming me and making all my sins count for naught when Your blood has wash it all from me. Thank you Jesus that there is power in Your name and that You have gone to the Father that I may do greater things than that while You were on earth. Thank you Holy Spirit from empowering me and teaching me what to say or what to do. Thank you for helping to make my connection with God the Father so much clearer and easier. Thank you Holy Spirit for making me so sensitive to the Spiritual realm that though those evil things scares me, I can find courage in You. Thank you Father God for everything. From the begining of my life till now, I Thank you that I have always been on Your mind and whatever that I have thought of or think of, You knew it already and You have always given me more than I can ask for. If there is one thing that I would like to do, it would be to give You back all the Glory and Honour that others has seen in me.
TMT '09 has been an eye opening trip for me. To see deliverance first hand and healing first hand is so exciting. What's more exciting to me is the relationship that God has developed with me. The song that I used to sing when I was younger has become alive in me. The title of the song is "He lives" and it goes like this, "...He talks to me, and walks with me, along life's narrow way..." There are so many events that happened and all of these testimonies are the reminders of God's love and mercy upon His people. I really want to compile all the events and testimonies in my life and organise them in a chronological manner, but that would take a really long time. I hope someday I would have time to do so and when my life is over, I can count my blessings and name them one by one. Giving thanks and praise to God.
As I get activated in all senses, first was prophersy with Sarah, then worship/prophetic worship with Wan Hsi, deliverance with Watchman/Wan Hsi, my Spiritual senses are heightened and I feel tinkles in my hands and feet! Probably thats why Wan Hsi jerks when she prays or when she is 'downloading' from God. Its the same kind of feeling and its not controllable I assure you. It feels like static to me and I know when something is happening in the Spiritual realm.
In this trip God restored one friendship. I know its on the way to recovery and I continue to pray and ask God to seal what He has done so far. God also gave me what I was looking for all along. An elder sister. I am the oldest in my family and I am always looking for someone to look up to. Someone who can listen and advise me on what to do. During the first session where Wan Hsi was sharing on the Father's love, I was praying for the children and as I was praying for them, Father God spoke to me. And then I caught Wan Hsi's eyes and as she walked up to me I asked her if she would be my 'Da Jie'. She asked me why and I told her that being the eldest I usually have no one to look up to and that I have been looking to the wrong people for advise. I really want someone to talk to and someone who would give me advice that are in line with God's principle. I really admire her as my older sister and seriously, we share quite a fair bit in interest (Guitar, electronics, and more to find out...)
So much has been happening in my life. There are some parts that I am not even blogging cause it would have been too long to put it all here. And as I journey with God, I know that my desires are getting inline with His plans as they keep changing to be more God centred that self centred. Travelling worship pastor was what I wanted to do during a session in YAYA camp '09 with Sarah. And God has shown me in this TMT '09 how worship can be used in deliverance. He put a question and a desire in my heart about going to nations where its hard ground and invite His presence there. Not just places like KL or Bangkok, main city mega churches to lead worship in comfortable places, yes, there would be chances like this, but also to places where the only instrument is probably a guitar and voices singing. Would I go to the ends of the earth for His name sake?
Perhaps that is why my journey with God is meant to be adventurous. Along the way God changes my plan and He wants to see if I am able to trust and obey. Even if it causes me to be rejected by others and be in discomfort due to the lack of knowing what's next. Seriously, life with God is meant to be exciting and fun and encouraging and awe-inducing. I dont understand why Christians today look so glum and like knowing and loving God is such a difficult thing to do. I hope that my life would bring refreshing and inspiration to these people.
And on the last note, I hope I never ever forget what the Lord has done for me and to pray for nations that I've been to. I pray that God would keep bringing back memories of His good work that I may spur on for Him. The ultimate prize? His people. And my prayer for the Thais is that this fatherless generation would look to the Father God in heaven that they may receive that fullness of life that is in Chirst Jesus, with the fellowship of the Holy Spirit to enlighten them in their understanding of the Father's heart and to have the mind of Christ, which in turn empower them to do greater things than that which Christ has done while He was on earth. Amen!
Thank you Jesus for redeeming me and making all my sins count for naught when Your blood has wash it all from me. Thank you Jesus that there is power in Your name and that You have gone to the Father that I may do greater things than that while You were on earth. Thank you Holy Spirit from empowering me and teaching me what to say or what to do. Thank you for helping to make my connection with God the Father so much clearer and easier. Thank you Holy Spirit for making me so sensitive to the Spiritual realm that though those evil things scares me, I can find courage in You. Thank you Father God for everything. From the begining of my life till now, I Thank you that I have always been on Your mind and whatever that I have thought of or think of, You knew it already and You have always given me more than I can ask for. If there is one thing that I would like to do, it would be to give You back all the Glory and Honour that others has seen in me.
TMT '09 has been an eye opening trip for me. To see deliverance first hand and healing first hand is so exciting. What's more exciting to me is the relationship that God has developed with me. The song that I used to sing when I was younger has become alive in me. The title of the song is "He lives" and it goes like this, "...He talks to me, and walks with me, along life's narrow way..." There are so many events that happened and all of these testimonies are the reminders of God's love and mercy upon His people. I really want to compile all the events and testimonies in my life and organise them in a chronological manner, but that would take a really long time. I hope someday I would have time to do so and when my life is over, I can count my blessings and name them one by one. Giving thanks and praise to God.
As I get activated in all senses, first was prophersy with Sarah, then worship/prophetic worship with Wan Hsi, deliverance with Watchman/Wan Hsi, my Spiritual senses are heightened and I feel tinkles in my hands and feet! Probably thats why Wan Hsi jerks when she prays or when she is 'downloading' from God. Its the same kind of feeling and its not controllable I assure you. It feels like static to me and I know when something is happening in the Spiritual realm.
In this trip God restored one friendship. I know its on the way to recovery and I continue to pray and ask God to seal what He has done so far. God also gave me what I was looking for all along. An elder sister. I am the oldest in my family and I am always looking for someone to look up to. Someone who can listen and advise me on what to do. During the first session where Wan Hsi was sharing on the Father's love, I was praying for the children and as I was praying for them, Father God spoke to me. And then I caught Wan Hsi's eyes and as she walked up to me I asked her if she would be my 'Da Jie'. She asked me why and I told her that being the eldest I usually have no one to look up to and that I have been looking to the wrong people for advise. I really want someone to talk to and someone who would give me advice that are in line with God's principle. I really admire her as my older sister and seriously, we share quite a fair bit in interest (Guitar, electronics, and more to find out...)
So much has been happening in my life. There are some parts that I am not even blogging cause it would have been too long to put it all here. And as I journey with God, I know that my desires are getting inline with His plans as they keep changing to be more God centred that self centred. Travelling worship pastor was what I wanted to do during a session in YAYA camp '09 with Sarah. And God has shown me in this TMT '09 how worship can be used in deliverance. He put a question and a desire in my heart about going to nations where its hard ground and invite His presence there. Not just places like KL or Bangkok, main city mega churches to lead worship in comfortable places, yes, there would be chances like this, but also to places where the only instrument is probably a guitar and voices singing. Would I go to the ends of the earth for His name sake?
Perhaps that is why my journey with God is meant to be adventurous. Along the way God changes my plan and He wants to see if I am able to trust and obey. Even if it causes me to be rejected by others and be in discomfort due to the lack of knowing what's next. Seriously, life with God is meant to be exciting and fun and encouraging and awe-inducing. I dont understand why Christians today look so glum and like knowing and loving God is such a difficult thing to do. I hope that my life would bring refreshing and inspiration to these people.
And on the last note, I hope I never ever forget what the Lord has done for me and to pray for nations that I've been to. I pray that God would keep bringing back memories of His good work that I may spur on for Him. The ultimate prize? His people. And my prayer for the Thais is that this fatherless generation would look to the Father God in heaven that they may receive that fullness of life that is in Chirst Jesus, with the fellowship of the Holy Spirit to enlighten them in their understanding of the Father's heart and to have the mind of Christ, which in turn empower them to do greater things than that which Christ has done while He was on earth. Amen!
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