Here I am sitting in the library of college wondering what am I going to do with life. Just had a very depressing and demoralising band practice. ICA is next week, but we are far from being tight. Depressing cause I couldnt get the groove right, and I keep missing the attacks. I know I am not a talented drummer. I am not agile, I dont have a natural metronome, my playing is not tight. So much for the "you've improved" comments that I've been getting. Its like a slap in the face when I cant do something that I am told to and I am supposed to have improved.
What is going to be my selling point? What am I good at? Performance? Nah, I'm not technically good to be entertaining. Arranging? I might think I am good at it, but in truth, I dont think I am. Good ears? Nope again. I cant even listen to something and playback accurately.
Gosh, what am I doing in ICOM Berklee Transfer Program?! I wonder if I could even get in to Berklee.
Give time to have band practice, personal practice, study a few subjects, ministry, spend time with God...
Its a bad day for me. I wished I had more talent or something. Something that I could gain without working too much for.
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