I just felt rather dumb entering that post. Or rather I felt that I needed a space to let it out.
Just an update of what is going on. I'm typing this from home and I am now STAYING IN for a 4 months course. Why am I home now? cause I have nights out on wednesdays :)
I have been thinking about going to her hall and have a little surprise for her birthday. Yes, I thought about it quite some time ago. I wanted to get a few people to just pop up at her hall and yell HAPPY BIRTHDAY! cut the cake, give her a nice present and then go back home. Something just to make her day.
Oh well, I had to start staying in camp that very week of her birthday.
I seriously have no idea why I am so attracted to her. I'm not even sure if its look or character that I am attracted to. I have no reason to be in contact with her. I only managed to start a conversation with her after a very long while of silence. But I'm deeply in love (not technically cause I'm not in a relationship with her) with her.
Some times I get a no response for an answer in a conversation, some times it feels like she just answer me cause she has to, in all politeness. I get turn off by this as the girl I hope to be with must be able to communicate with me and we have to hit it off well.
We did when I first got to know her, but soon after I did, things just began to go down hill.
As some of my friends mentioned, maybe the time isnt right, maybe she isnt the one. There are lots of unanswered questions that only My God knows. But to be so deeply attracted for so long, I really dont understand.
My emotions gets affected by my thoughts about her. now tell me, why does she have such power over me? I feel so, helpless. Help me Lord.
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