Confused, I'm sure

Each time I think I know, the next moment I'll be in doubt.

It has never occur to me till now that this could be what the Lord is teaching me. That each time I'm so very sure about myself and the decision I'm about to make, the situation changes. How sure can you be about anything?

At this moment I feel that God is telling me to let it all go. Just let Him be Lord in this area of choosing a girlfriend (wife). Its like the Bible said, draw near to Him and you will hear His voice and you will know its Him. (something like that, I kinda paraphrased/ jumbled it a bit)

The whole of last week, I was thinking her (the fun girl) cause we chatted online for a really long while and things were getting on the right track. But I didnt take any steps to catch up with her within the week. Just didnt want to rush things or going ahead without God's affirmation.

Today I had a great time having dinner with cool people from church and just talking over coffee. She (the insanely sweet girl) was there and she took my breath away pretty much. I just happened to have a sudden insight that I know why I liked her that much. I want to get to know the other side of her. I believe she is the fun kinda girl when you are close and comfortable to her. I want to get to know that side of her. And when the previous week seems so sure that the other was a better choice, this had to happen.

I sometimes wonder if God is testing me. Testing my fidelity cause I may be fickle minded at times and I tend to trust my eyes too much.

Now, I'm not so sure about myself, about everything. All I want to do is that when I do think of something, I'll quickly commit it to Him and pray that He guides me from the very beginning so that I'll walk in His ways, AMEN!