Don't think that having a title like "Intelligent Assistant" is an 'easy-going, 8-5, slack, just-do-some-admin' kinda job.
If you think that its something like that then you are terribly WRONG!
Being in the unit that I'm in now is giving me headache. I look at computers the whole day! Gosh I thought gaming too much is the scariest thing that happened to me but NO! This is. I stare at the computer which shows 2 black and white photos that are taken from the sky at different angles.
My job? To look at these images using a polarised glasses and plot the height of these 3D images that have been created by optics illusion. I'm having headache from looking at these images everyday. I'm not 'talented' in being able to see these images therefore I try very hard to try and see and differentiate the height of these image. Work is one part of the headache.
The other? Well, I dont know what I want. And thus that is giving me a headache. While do I end up with this conclusion all the time? I dont know myself. But I know God knows and I'm leaving it at his feet.
Well I happy about a lot that is gonna happen. There is a worship seminar that is coming up and I'm gearing myself up to go. Lord prepare my expectant heart :)
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Monday, January 21, 2008
Emo-tionally affected
Well, I guess the title says it all. Being emo is rather sucky. Thought I would never have to go through that again with it being all left behind. Not that I'm really over it, as its really my first love, there is a special place for that. But more like I choose to ignore the fact that is in my face.
I felt love sick today. Seriously. I was listening to all the emo-heartbroken love song on my way back home. I just wanted to spend time with her. In anyway actually. In groups having bible study or having a meal or playing games or just about anything. But I only gotta do it once recently. Sunday just came and gone. Attended service, went for a birthday party, came back for vocal lessons then dinner with Joel and his parents. There, Sunday was over. I didn't even spend 5 mins with her in some way. I guess feeling awful is being carried over to today.
Lyd is being emo over Clare too. She has broken up with him over issues like parents (hey! now that sounds familiar) and isn't over it. She still hurt inside, cry at night, wished things wasn't this way. How he would distance himself a little and not be like how things were in the past. Seems like we are going through some similar feelings.
I'm talking to Sam now as I write this. Aired some stuffs to her that I didn't want to leave here. Thank God she's online.
Now I just feel like drowning all my sorrow like I did in the past. But now I rather enjoy the wines I bought and have the same effect of numbness and sleep happily.
Lord I prayed, help me to remember this prayer as things come to past and are revealed.
I felt love sick today. Seriously. I was listening to all the emo-heartbroken love song on my way back home. I just wanted to spend time with her. In anyway actually. In groups having bible study or having a meal or playing games or just about anything. But I only gotta do it once recently. Sunday just came and gone. Attended service, went for a birthday party, came back for vocal lessons then dinner with Joel and his parents. There, Sunday was over. I didn't even spend 5 mins with her in some way. I guess feeling awful is being carried over to today.
Lyd is being emo over Clare too. She has broken up with him over issues like parents (hey! now that sounds familiar) and isn't over it. She still hurt inside, cry at night, wished things wasn't this way. How he would distance himself a little and not be like how things were in the past. Seems like we are going through some similar feelings.
I'm talking to Sam now as I write this. Aired some stuffs to her that I didn't want to leave here. Thank God she's online.
Now I just feel like drowning all my sorrow like I did in the past. But now I rather enjoy the wines I bought and have the same effect of numbness and sleep happily.
Lord I prayed, help me to remember this prayer as things come to past and are revealed.
Friday, January 18, 2008
I'm crazy, I know.
Its just funny isnt it? Missing the person so much that you have to contemplate the whole day thinking of whether or not to go. Then when you have decided to go cause you really wanted to see her, you sms a friend just to make sure that she would be there.
When the reply was asking if you're going, suddenly loads of excuses appeared about why you shouldn't go. And in the end you decided not to go.
Isn't absence the factor that makes a heart grow fonder? Isn't that a very strong factor for me? Well, it is. but some how there were too many things that was preventing me from going.
1) I have not told my aunt that I'm not going back for dinner. It was too late to tell her.
2) I'm having supper with my section mates at 11pm. I need the car, going back from commonwealth isn't exactly that near.
3) The reason is just too much to say here. But just know that I'm glad I didnt go.
So yea, I'll see her on Sunday then. Well, absence is working again, that is why I'm blogging this now.
Anyway, I just received my SAFRA card! wooohoo!
When the reply was asking if you're going, suddenly loads of excuses appeared about why you shouldn't go. And in the end you decided not to go.
Isn't absence the factor that makes a heart grow fonder? Isn't that a very strong factor for me? Well, it is. but some how there were too many things that was preventing me from going.
1) I have not told my aunt that I'm not going back for dinner. It was too late to tell her.
2) I'm having supper with my section mates at 11pm. I need the car, going back from commonwealth isn't exactly that near.
3) The reason is just too much to say here. But just know that I'm glad I didnt go.
So yea, I'll see her on Sunday then. Well, absence is working again, that is why I'm blogging this now.
Anyway, I just received my SAFRA card! wooohoo!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Fever!
Yesterday I had worship practice in church at 11am. Yes, 11am. Freaking early huh?! but there wasnt any choice as the Synod was using our church as the AGM venue and was from 2pm -6pm.
Well practice was fine. Things went on smoothly and we ended at about 1.15pm. I was famished by then. So we (the worship team) decided to go to PS for lunch. After practice I was super tired, emo-ed, sian diao-ed. I didnt know why, so when they ask me what happened to me I just told them that I was trying to be Shaun, autistic :)
We went to PS Cartel for lunch and it was fabulous. Really good :) I mean its not like super uber good. But I guess I had good company and the food was really tasty and thus I'm satisfied. Then they wanted to go and get a birthday card for Rae, whose birthday is just 2 days away. So we went hunting for a nice card. It was only then that I realised why I was so moody and sian diao. I think I was falling sick. So we left PS at about 3pm and I was home by 4.
Not feeling too well, I had a bath and decided to take a nap. When I woke up at 6pm, I was running a fever. I went to pop 2 panadols for cold and went back to sleep. Hoping I'll get better. When I was up again at 8pm, the fever was still on. I decided not to sleep and waited till 10pm before I went to bed. All through the night I was awoken by the heat my body was generating. I decided to take another 2 panadols hoping things will be fine. It was also then that I decided to pray.
I prayed that God whose wound, 39 slashes of the whip that binds all the illnesses in the world would heal me of this fever. That my recovery will be a testimony to His promise and greatness to who He is. That through this I would know that my God hears the prayers of His people. And that at service the next day I would play drum by the Spirit and not on my own strength.
When I woke up at 7am, my fever was GONE! what a miracle. Seriously, to me, a fever that has been running for more than 12 hours and gone by the time I needed to wake up and go to church is a Miracle! I gave thanks to God who did it. It was through Him that all my weaknesses and iniquity were removed.
In between all these drama about the fever, I had dreams. I dreamt that she was taking care of me cause I had a fever. Then I got woken up. So I thought, hey that wasnt a bad dream.
Then I fell asleep again. This time she was in my house. But secretly. We were kinda like together but not to the knowledge of my parents. and in the end we got busted. and I woke up again.
I guess my brain got rather fried dreaming all these things and with a temperature running at the same time.
You guys asked me why I dont want to go home since I'm not feeling well. I dare not answer there and then, but here it is. I rather attend the meeting, sit there and say nothing to see her smile.
I rather hangout more, every minute is a blessing more to me. Lunch was awesome again :)
If you guys understand this, please dont say anything to anyone. Keep it within yourselves and let it be our little secret. I cant do anything about it but just continue to pray that something good may happen in the end. Please dont talk about it lest this pleasant situation turns for the worse. Thank you :)
Well practice was fine. Things went on smoothly and we ended at about 1.15pm. I was famished by then. So we (the worship team) decided to go to PS for lunch. After practice I was super tired, emo-ed, sian diao-ed. I didnt know why, so when they ask me what happened to me I just told them that I was trying to be Shaun, autistic :)
We went to PS Cartel for lunch and it was fabulous. Really good :) I mean its not like super uber good. But I guess I had good company and the food was really tasty and thus I'm satisfied. Then they wanted to go and get a birthday card for Rae, whose birthday is just 2 days away. So we went hunting for a nice card. It was only then that I realised why I was so moody and sian diao. I think I was falling sick. So we left PS at about 3pm and I was home by 4.
Not feeling too well, I had a bath and decided to take a nap. When I woke up at 6pm, I was running a fever. I went to pop 2 panadols for cold and went back to sleep. Hoping I'll get better. When I was up again at 8pm, the fever was still on. I decided not to sleep and waited till 10pm before I went to bed. All through the night I was awoken by the heat my body was generating. I decided to take another 2 panadols hoping things will be fine. It was also then that I decided to pray.
I prayed that God whose wound, 39 slashes of the whip that binds all the illnesses in the world would heal me of this fever. That my recovery will be a testimony to His promise and greatness to who He is. That through this I would know that my God hears the prayers of His people. And that at service the next day I would play drum by the Spirit and not on my own strength.
When I woke up at 7am, my fever was GONE! what a miracle. Seriously, to me, a fever that has been running for more than 12 hours and gone by the time I needed to wake up and go to church is a Miracle! I gave thanks to God who did it. It was through Him that all my weaknesses and iniquity were removed.
In between all these drama about the fever, I had dreams. I dreamt that she was taking care of me cause I had a fever. Then I got woken up. So I thought, hey that wasnt a bad dream.
Then I fell asleep again. This time she was in my house. But secretly. We were kinda like together but not to the knowledge of my parents. and in the end we got busted. and I woke up again.
I guess my brain got rather fried dreaming all these things and with a temperature running at the same time.
You guys asked me why I dont want to go home since I'm not feeling well. I dare not answer there and then, but here it is. I rather attend the meeting, sit there and say nothing to see her smile.
I rather hangout more, every minute is a blessing more to me. Lunch was awesome again :)
If you guys understand this, please dont say anything to anyone. Keep it within yourselves and let it be our little secret. I cant do anything about it but just continue to pray that something good may happen in the end. Please dont talk about it lest this pleasant situation turns for the worse. Thank you :)
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