Sunday, July 28, 2013
Passion
There is no real love without intense passion. There is no intense passion that doesn't require extreme sacrifice. There is no extreme sacrifice that doesn't test the limits of our very souls. And it is only those souls that know the depths of God's love which transcend the minds of men and fulfills the longings of their hearts. - KV
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Wisdom - And all that it encompasses
When we lose the knowledge of the existence of a creator, we lose the concept of design. When we lose the concept of design, we undermine the discovery of purpose. When we undermine the discovery of purpose, we remove the conviction of accountability. When we remove the conviction of accountability, we undermine the fear of God. The Bible says, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. - Bill Johnson
Monday, July 15, 2013
A really long update cause I can
I'm typing this as I think through and reflect on what I have been through and to give thanks for whatever that was thrown at me thus far. The comfort of typing this at my favourite hang, though I have sort of delayed doing this for a while. And perhaps to crystalize it in this memory log and to provide a closure of sorts.
So June was an extremely tough time, but it was not without His grace and goodness.
At the end of May I quit school due to 3 reasons; 1. because school was being delayed (because I failed my drums technical studies last semester. No one to blame of course but myself, but not looking for an excuse or what but the syllabus is just... never mind.) 2. my pianist pulled out of my exams 1 week before and to replace and rehearse was gonna crazy plus panicky. I sort of figured this would happen, another long story by the way, so when it happened, I decided that this would be it. 3. My mum had a dream that I was involved in a serious accident and died. So she was worried and she called me and asked. When I told her that I was ok physically but felt like I was dying spiritually, she asked me to think if I would still want to continue studying. This was the partial permission which I took up in the end and called it quits.
Calling it quits was one thing, VISA with a SPECIAL stamp issue was another (look at post tittled: Heartdriven Taiwan 2013).
But this Taiwan Trip was the highlight of June. June was a busy month. After Taiwan, I did worship for 3 consecutive weekends and welcomed July with a busking/worship/jam session and a covering and liberation.
In June I received a new mentor and a much needed covering. This agreement has helped me because all of a sudden I feel like I can do what I want to as long as I am accountable to him. Its not for me to abuse but for me to steward it well and bless others. But not being under a covering for so long, this shelter has suddenly helped me to understand the importance of it.
Also, coming back to SG and leading worship in one of the cell/sharing session has lead to a blessing that was a total SURPRISE! Cynthia, after the whole session, at the Bus-Stop in front of her house, prayed for me for like 30mins and my, the prayer was so generous I was truly truly blessed. It was liberating and affirming and encouraging all at once. (Will attempt to blog about this in greater details)
Not only all that good things had happened, but I know that God has confirmed my dreams of having a building, the finances He is gonna pour into my life and like many more. Ok for the details I'll try to get them out ASAP, but for now this is about it.
Yes, I am counting all my blessings and naming them one by one. I have to do so for contentment and testimony is the way to go, for all glory, belongs to Him and Him alone. Besides otherwise, I'll be whining at my current situation and forgotten how He has come through for me. Lest I be like the Israelites when God took them out of slavery and yet they complained against Him.
God is good all the time. Amen!
So June was an extremely tough time, but it was not without His grace and goodness.
At the end of May I quit school due to 3 reasons; 1. because school was being delayed (because I failed my drums technical studies last semester. No one to blame of course but myself, but not looking for an excuse or what but the syllabus is just... never mind.) 2. my pianist pulled out of my exams 1 week before and to replace and rehearse was gonna crazy plus panicky. I sort of figured this would happen, another long story by the way, so when it happened, I decided that this would be it. 3. My mum had a dream that I was involved in a serious accident and died. So she was worried and she called me and asked. When I told her that I was ok physically but felt like I was dying spiritually, she asked me to think if I would still want to continue studying. This was the partial permission which I took up in the end and called it quits.
Calling it quits was one thing, VISA with a SPECIAL stamp issue was another (look at post tittled: Heartdriven Taiwan 2013).
But this Taiwan Trip was the highlight of June. June was a busy month. After Taiwan, I did worship for 3 consecutive weekends and welcomed July with a busking/worship/jam session and a covering and liberation.
In June I received a new mentor and a much needed covering. This agreement has helped me because all of a sudden I feel like I can do what I want to as long as I am accountable to him. Its not for me to abuse but for me to steward it well and bless others. But not being under a covering for so long, this shelter has suddenly helped me to understand the importance of it.
Also, coming back to SG and leading worship in one of the cell/sharing session has lead to a blessing that was a total SURPRISE! Cynthia, after the whole session, at the Bus-Stop in front of her house, prayed for me for like 30mins and my, the prayer was so generous I was truly truly blessed. It was liberating and affirming and encouraging all at once. (Will attempt to blog about this in greater details)
Not only all that good things had happened, but I know that God has confirmed my dreams of having a building, the finances He is gonna pour into my life and like many more. Ok for the details I'll try to get them out ASAP, but for now this is about it.
Yes, I am counting all my blessings and naming them one by one. I have to do so for contentment and testimony is the way to go, for all glory, belongs to Him and Him alone. Besides otherwise, I'll be whining at my current situation and forgotten how He has come through for me. Lest I be like the Israelites when God took them out of slavery and yet they complained against Him.
God is good all the time. Amen!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
From Generations to Generations
“Come everybody, gather around, listen: Who among the gods has delivered the news? I, God, love this man Cyrus, and I’m using him to do what I want with Babylon. I, yes I, have spoken. I’ve called him. I’ve brought him here. He’ll be successful. Come close, listen carefully: I’ve never kept secrets from you. I’ve always been present with you.” And now, the Master, God, sends me and his Spirit with this Message from God, your Redeemer, The Holy of Israel: “I am God, your God, who teaches you how to live right and well. I show you what to do, where to go. If you had listened all along to what I told you, your life would have flowed full like a river, blessings rolling in like waves from the sea. Children and grandchildren are like sand, your progeny like grains of sand. There would be no end of them, no danger of losing touch with me.” (Isaiah 48:16-19 MSG)
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Destiny
Jesus
was crucified from the foundation of the world yet there was no room at
the hotel for Him to be born. Therefore the Son of God had to be born
in a dirty stable.
What does this tell us about life in God? Just because God is in your destiny doesn't mean everything will work out perfectly. And when things don't go well it doesn't mean God isn't in it.
On the other hand, smooth sailing doesn't guarantee that you will arrive on the shores of your promise land.
I have found that sometimes God causes storms to blow you on course. Other times you discover your destiny on the way to look for your donkeys.
But if you seek Him with all your heart you will eventually windup at your God ordained destiny.
-KV
No one could have put it better. Oh God help!
What does this tell us about life in God? Just because God is in your destiny doesn't mean everything will work out perfectly. And when things don't go well it doesn't mean God isn't in it.
On the other hand, smooth sailing doesn't guarantee that you will arrive on the shores of your promise land.
I have found that sometimes God causes storms to blow you on course. Other times you discover your destiny on the way to look for your donkeys.
But if you seek Him with all your heart you will eventually windup at your God ordained destiny.
-KV
No one could have put it better. Oh God help!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Jesus Boleh! - HeartDriven Taiwan Trip 2013
It's a miracle that I am typing this right now, right here, from Taiwan. Just 2 days ago, the situation was really very unfavourable with me being stuck in KL, Msia.
Just last Wed, 5 Jun, I was refused entry into Singapore because I had a "SPECIAL" stamp on my passport due to the student visa on my passport. In brief, I had to renew my passport because I needed more than 6 months validity on my passport to purchase the ticket for this trip. With that settled, I went back to Msia with a stamp indicating that I had to go to the immigration office in KL to get the visa. When I came back to KL, I went to the immigration office as instructed but I was turned away by the officer there as they wanted the college to do it for me since I was a student. So when I asked my college for help, I was advised to renew it only when I returned for the next semester.
Little did I realise that I would be turned away at JB's custom (Msian side) due to the stamp. The officer insisted that this stamp had to be resolved in KL immigration office and he would not grant me clearance to leave Msia. With that my parents (who drove up to KL to fetch me home) were forced to me behind in JB and I was alone with a backpack, heading back to KL on a bus.
Arriving back in KL at 4am, and going to college to seek assistance at 9.30am, the drama continued. So at the immigration office, the officer said that I was legal to be in Msia because I had a valid student visa. Despite that, I had to wait 3 working days (normally visa transfer or cancellation takes 1 day as stated on their banner regarding the number of days it would take to process the stated there). So Friday, I was at the office for the whole day waiting and hoping to hear good news, but to no avail. To the surprise of my Msian church mates, I showed up in church that weekend and asked them to pray for me.
Come Monday, I spoke to one officer, and he said he knows my case and will try to get the boss to do it. Only at 5pm did he tell me that his boss had been out the whole day, so no one could do it.
Tuesday, I went to the office again, spoke to another officer who said, "I know, I know" and that he will get it process. I waited till 5pm again, to find out that nothing was done.
So I missed 2 rehearsals and and was getting annoyed about the whole process that was taking so long, but even so I was at peace. I didn't get angry or feel the need to go and shout at someone at the office but to speak to them with respect and ask them to help resolve this matter. Ryan then sent me a text on Tuesday night that the band were praying for me and told me not to worry, that he believed that God would make a way when there seems to be no way. That God would turn this impossible situation around to reveal His glory.
Lesson learnt: Even in doing "God's work", we may seek do things our way and think that it might be faster. Thank God that I stayed true to my convictions (and refused to resort to bribery for them to process my passport - contrary to the advice of some of my Msian peers).
Wednesday morning, I went to the office and met the same officer as Tuesday. I spoke to him again and told him about my trip and I needed my passport to get back to SG today. So he took a look at my air ticket, and went, "13th, isn't the 13th tomorrow?" and I replied, "Yes, Sir. It is tomorrow and I have to get back to Singapore ASAP." and he went, "Oh! Like that ah. Like that this one is urgent!" and wrote down "Urgent" on my paper, took my number and said that he will process it now. He was the guy in charge of this. He told me to come back after lunch to collect my passport.
Finally. At 3pm on Wednesday, 12 Jun, I received my passport!
I really thank God, even though, being very honest here, that I was upset because I felt so unprepared for the trip, missing out on rehearsals and wasting so much time in KL, that one day before the trip, I managed to get back to SG at 12 midnight (9 hours before the flight to Taiwan) to join the band.
This answered prayer has encouraged the band. I am so glad that one of them actually shared with his cell and got them to intercede for me.
From here we see the power of prayer and that God is above all obstacles that were preventing me to come on this trip. Our God is the God of both the possible and the impossible. Just being here on day 1 itself has been a testimony for me. Meeting Singaporeans here in Taiwan has greatly encouraged me and their shared passion and vision for God's work really resounded strongly within my spirit. It's only day 1 and the sharing we had a while ago are testimonies about the good things God has done for us and we are so encouraged to expect more from Jehovah Jireh, God our Provider!
Truly His love never fails. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.
Just last Wed, 5 Jun, I was refused entry into Singapore because I had a "SPECIAL" stamp on my passport due to the student visa on my passport. In brief, I had to renew my passport because I needed more than 6 months validity on my passport to purchase the ticket for this trip. With that settled, I went back to Msia with a stamp indicating that I had to go to the immigration office in KL to get the visa. When I came back to KL, I went to the immigration office as instructed but I was turned away by the officer there as they wanted the college to do it for me since I was a student. So when I asked my college for help, I was advised to renew it only when I returned for the next semester.
Little did I realise that I would be turned away at JB's custom (Msian side) due to the stamp. The officer insisted that this stamp had to be resolved in KL immigration office and he would not grant me clearance to leave Msia. With that my parents (who drove up to KL to fetch me home) were forced to me behind in JB and I was alone with a backpack, heading back to KL on a bus.
Arriving back in KL at 4am, and going to college to seek assistance at 9.30am, the drama continued. So at the immigration office, the officer said that I was legal to be in Msia because I had a valid student visa. Despite that, I had to wait 3 working days (normally visa transfer or cancellation takes 1 day as stated on their banner regarding the number of days it would take to process the stated there). So Friday, I was at the office for the whole day waiting and hoping to hear good news, but to no avail. To the surprise of my Msian church mates, I showed up in church that weekend and asked them to pray for me.
Come Monday, I spoke to one officer, and he said he knows my case and will try to get the boss to do it. Only at 5pm did he tell me that his boss had been out the whole day, so no one could do it.
Tuesday, I went to the office again, spoke to another officer who said, "I know, I know" and that he will get it process. I waited till 5pm again, to find out that nothing was done.
So I missed 2 rehearsals and and was getting annoyed about the whole process that was taking so long, but even so I was at peace. I didn't get angry or feel the need to go and shout at someone at the office but to speak to them with respect and ask them to help resolve this matter. Ryan then sent me a text on Tuesday night that the band were praying for me and told me not to worry, that he believed that God would make a way when there seems to be no way. That God would turn this impossible situation around to reveal His glory.
Lesson learnt: Even in doing "God's work", we may seek do things our way and think that it might be faster. Thank God that I stayed true to my convictions (and refused to resort to bribery for them to process my passport - contrary to the advice of some of my Msian peers).
Wednesday morning, I went to the office and met the same officer as Tuesday. I spoke to him again and told him about my trip and I needed my passport to get back to SG today. So he took a look at my air ticket, and went, "13th, isn't the 13th tomorrow?" and I replied, "Yes, Sir. It is tomorrow and I have to get back to Singapore ASAP." and he went, "Oh! Like that ah. Like that this one is urgent!" and wrote down "Urgent" on my paper, took my number and said that he will process it now. He was the guy in charge of this. He told me to come back after lunch to collect my passport.
Finally. At 3pm on Wednesday, 12 Jun, I received my passport!
I really thank God, even though, being very honest here, that I was upset because I felt so unprepared for the trip, missing out on rehearsals and wasting so much time in KL, that one day before the trip, I managed to get back to SG at 12 midnight (9 hours before the flight to Taiwan) to join the band.
This answered prayer has encouraged the band. I am so glad that one of them actually shared with his cell and got them to intercede for me.
From here we see the power of prayer and that God is above all obstacles that were preventing me to come on this trip. Our God is the God of both the possible and the impossible. Just being here on day 1 itself has been a testimony for me. Meeting Singaporeans here in Taiwan has greatly encouraged me and their shared passion and vision for God's work really resounded strongly within my spirit. It's only day 1 and the sharing we had a while ago are testimonies about the good things God has done for us and we are so encouraged to expect more from Jehovah Jireh, God our Provider!
Truly His love never fails. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Ahhh, yes she did.
I'm so glad that you are around even though I have neglected you quite a fair bit. I seem to only rant here and this blog wasnt supposed to be like that. This was meant to be a space I keep my journey with God, not a ranting place. But I guess, it through all these hard and sad times that I find myself and draw to Him, the only One who can sustain me.
Why am I writing this at 6:30am? Cause I'm in a mood too good to be asleep. Yes its the first time since a very long while that I have felt so so good. And the irony, this was the same person who caused me so much pain 9 months ago. Isnt funny how the joy and pain can be caused by the same one person? Perhaps the Father is revealing something to me but its really comforting to know that I am alive with all these feelings. And I guess being faithful and being available is one of the most important virtue that I possess. However, its also true that it takes two to build any kind of relationship. And as I think even further back to how this blog started, it was this paradox, this one person, whose choice would either make me smile or cry.
So we chatted for 1hr 30mins. It was good. We chatted like we were old friends. Deep within her, she has a heart. She has a mother's heart. A heart that is family first and she'll do no matter what to provide. Sad circumstances that she has gotten herself into, but I'm just glad that we talked and she has put her past issues with me aside.
And this song playing, John Mayer's Edge of Desire is just the song. This was her song. A song that reminded me of her. I know I dont make any sense now. But trust me, if anything, I am in cloud 9.
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