Random Rantings

Reality has just sinked in, a year has just gone by and past. Its exactly a month (as I just realised too) since I last blogged.

Oh well, 2008 has a lot going on. So much that a year went past without much realisation. I am surprised that there were so much activities that went on and I would like to have it recorded and watch it. But with that being said, I realise too, that much of it would have to be censored. There were many thing I did that were totally not to be mentioned. Yea, time of your life they say, do it young and dangerous, but I think that is enough. I'm not going to continue to live that way

Last year I thought many things would happen. Like lose a good deal of weight, shape up, get attached, get a second diploma, get a music theory, learn piano. There were so many plans that I wanted to do and achieve. But seems like nothing has been done. I know God has plans for me, plans to prosper me and make me the man He wants me to become. But my impatience has made me give up the suffering of waiting on Him. I just turn to the temptations of the wrold, for a quick relief.

At this moment now I feel like I have 3 loves. This is in terms of girls. I know 'hua xin' but its not. Its just I dont know!!! But I do have 3 loves, God, music and girls. Yea, sure its funny I wanna be good at something,something that I can be proud of, a speciality but I cant find one. I'm a jack of all trades, master of none. Maybe that is why I cant attract girls, *sigh*

I'm getting sick of the NS life too, hope it would pass by quickly. And after that? I would lose one excuse to use and then I gotta get on with life. Either studies or work. I've been thinking so much about it I'm tired of it already.

I find it weird that I am getting close to the people she has been in love with. Dan Tan and now Daryl. Both names start with D, ok lame, but what a coincidence. Daryl and I live near each other and maybe with that it could be the start of some friendship as we talk on the way home. She is the one always in my dreams and visions and all that. Who knows, maybe these friendship is to cushion the break ups? ok, I'm just kidding and thinking too much of myself.

And then there is the other. I wonder if its admiration or crush that I get so much attention from her, either way, I am begining to be infatuated, but I'm guarding cause I dont wanna get hurt. She's too young now and I know she is also a popular among others.

And I think I like pop queens. cause these girls that I like, they are really very friendly and popular among guys. This one is attached. But is just over friendly. My arguement is that, if God didnt say no, then its ok ;)Just wait and see?

I am glad that before this year ended, I manage to solidify my friendship with drew. I'm glad he felt inclusive now and that he see us really missing him around and that he is actually loving the attention he is getting from the girls, HA! But I'm glad that he is around and hope he gets some spiritual feeding by being around.

As the new year starts, there are things I wanna straighten and get back right. I am thankful for friends like Cass who stick right to the end. I am thankful for many things actually. Too much to list here. But I just thank God that He is always there for me.

I pray I rise up to be what God wants and has installed for me. I dont wanna miss my calling and do things that will never satisfy for the rest of my life. 2009, arise and shine. I pray that I might be the light to rise and shine.

After typing all these, I somehow feel like nothing much has change, its still the same girls and ambitions and God and I dont know what to do. Someone please knock some sense and sleep into me PLEASE!!!