What A God!

Psalms 18:30: "What a God! His road stretches straight and smooth. Every God-direction is road-tested. Everyone who runs toward him Makes it." - The MSG Translation

ESTJ

Being an ESTJ, what you see is what you believe. That is fundamentally how you function. Primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. So basic on logic and whatever I am seeing or know, it contradicts with what I am hearing. This causes me to doubt, to think if everything you say is true or not. I'm not sure about my feelings because it feels like its being toyed by you. Yet you tell me things that I wanna hear and laugh at things I try to be funny about. I wonder is that the real you or is that you trying to act being interested. You dont reply messages (which I honestly dont understand what is so hard about that) or pick up my calls. I want to try loving you, as long as I can being apart but you are not making it any easier. I wonder why I always do such a thing to myself. It not that I dont wanna try, but you are really making it kinda hard. I am a very trusting person. I take you at face value. What you say to me is the truth, I dont think twice about it, but when it contradicts with what I see and what I know, I begin to doubt. And when I start doubting, I go a little crazy from over thinking. I dont know. Just ranting it out here so that if I see he signs coming, I better let go fast. I cannot afford to get hurt, though I allow myself to ever so often. Please be worth it, I've lost too many gems and I cant afford to anymore.

Passion

Passion is contagious. There is just something about a person who burns for something...who's bones are on fire...someone who lives with reckless abandon; that makes them incredibly attractive to me.

Personally, the little house on the prairie, life, is not for me. I wasn't born to make a living...I was born to make a difference.

Money doesn't motivate me...my soul is not for sale at any price. Don't get me wrong, I like nice things but I own them, they don't own me.

Death... I am not looking forward to dying (and I hate pain, so I would be a terrible martyr) but I am terrified of living without making a lasting, multi-generational impact on the planet. - KV

Jiro dreams of Sushi-?uestlove quest for it

The moral is: all you dream deferred cats ain't trying hard enough. Get a dream and COMMIT to that dream. Real commitment as in 8 hours a day prepping that dream for years until its a reality. - ?uestlove

Word!

2013

December has been good to me. Revitalized,  re-energised, re-focused, refreshed. But the moment I step into the second week of Jan, when I am back to KL, I am all back to square one again. Fear, decisions, anxiety everything came crashing back with a vengeance. Now I feel the need to do much more, but my brain aint too cooperative. The two main things I have to achieve this sem/year is to lose as much weight as possible (in a healthy way of course) and to gain as much technical proficiency/musicality as I can. I dont know where I am going for now. I dont know what I can do for now. All I know is that I gotta press in. Well, the her from before is drifting further and further away. We are friends and that's about it all. But here is a word from my favourite man and yes, its yet again a timely reminder for me.

"Sometimes you just have to keep going...I mean, just don't give up, don't melt down, do the opposite of what you feel.

It's days like these that I have to fight to be thankful, stop feeling sorry for myself, and not let my feeling dictate how I am doing.

I remind myself that it's a poor time to make a long term decision, tell someone what I am I really thinking, or buy something to help me feel better.

I just need a little time with God and a good nights sleep, Tomorrow will be a better day because I plowed my field of dreams today with faithfulness and perseverance.

Good nite friends. Sleep well" - KV

Let Go, Let God.

Once again, its home run. Had a good talk with Sam and Dean. Glad that I still have friends like them. Time to think for my self and make some plans... and by the way, I dont wanna offend anyone. I want to be harmonious, but I dont think that its possible. Yea, everyone is self centered and I dont wanna be like that, yet if I keep sacrificing myself then how am I gonna improve or reach my goals?

Your Existing Situation

Needs excitement and constant stimulation. Willingly participates in activities that are thrilling and offer adventure.

Your Stress Sources

"Wants the freedom to follow his own heart, goals, and dreams and to earn the respect as a unique individual. Desires to pursue every possible opportunity without limitations or things standing in his way."

Your Restrained Characteristics

Has strong emotional demands and is picky when it comes to choosing a partner. He chooses to remain emotionally distant and uninvolved in relationships.
His confidence is low but he is unable to admit that is the reason for his avoidance of conflict. Feels it is a situation out of his control and he is making the best of it.
Current events have him feeling forced to make bargains and put aside his own desires for now. He is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective

"If motivated, he will easily and quickly learn new skills. Is very intense person who seeks excitement and sexual stimulation. Wants others to see him as an exciting and interesting person, who is also charming and can easily influence others. Uses his charm to increase his chances of success and gain other people's trust."

Your Actual Problem

Longs the freedom to make his own decisions and plans without the criticism and restrictions of others. Uses his charm to deal with others and get what he wants.

Your Actual Problem #2

"Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities. Tries to takes the characteristics he likes in other people and apply it to himself as well as coming across as a unique individual."

I could do this everyday

Just for the fun of it I decided to try again. and wah. its so fun that its accurate... hahah! 

 

Your Existing Situation

Authoritative or in a position of power or leadership. Feels that current difficulties are causing problems and he is unable to progress further. Determined and commanding he strives for his goals despite the obstacles he faces.

Your Stress Sources

"Feels empty and isolated from others and wishes to overcome this feeling. Believes life has more to offer him than what he was experienced thus far, and doesn't want to miss out on anything. He purses all his goals and dreams, fearful that any missed opportunity will cause him to miss out on even more. Quickly becomes an expert in any field he pursues and can sometimes come off as overbearing and nosy."

Your Restrained Characteristics

Current events leave him feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.
Has strong emotional demands and is picky when it comes to choosing a partner. He chooses to remain emotionally distant and uninvolved in relationships.
"Struggles to make his demands clear, but feels ignored. Feels resentful, but acts as if he doesn't care, doing what is necessary to keep peace."
"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves him feeling frustrated because he is unable to find a perfect union."
Open and emotionally involved in relationships and easily finds satisfaction through sexual activity.

Your Desired Objective

Seeks to be known for something he has accomplished and uses his social abilities to win people over. Emotional and sensitive and romantic.

Your Actual Problem

Fears others will try to hold him back from achieving his goals and the things he wants. Puts on the charm and can be manipulative towards others hoping he can get them to do as he wishes and making it easier for him to reach his own goals.

Your Actual Problem #2

Longs the freedom to make his own decisions and plans without the criticism and restrictions of others. Uses his charm to deal with others and get what he wants.