In 2 weeks

The last post was pretty much an April fool's joke. No the emotions were not, but everything else that was going on then was. So PS exam turned out to be fine. We made it and we sounded good. Thank God!

In the last 2 weeks that I was silent, the toil of the school production was on full force. I thought I never had to do hard labour anymore for production, but oh well. Thank God once again that the production was awesome and I'm glad that I am part of it.

So I realised that there are many Christians in ICOM. Most of them are actually Godly people. I spoke to some of them and I found out that one of them has a calling to study music for worship also. It is interesting that God has placed in the hearts of many to be a Levite for His glory. That we may be ushers of His glory and His presence. Its my prayer and my heart's desire that He would raise up generations after generations of worshipers who would play skillfully unto the Lord and invite His presence no matter where they are.

It was also then that I found myself thinking about this. Well, dont say that I think of girls often, but some of these things are just inter-related ok?

I've come to realise that I am attracted to girls who have set themselves apart to be Holy, to have a high standard of godliness in their live. Girls who like Daniel, refused to be defiled by anything or anyone. I am attracted to them without knowing this in the first place. And after I do, I have a deeper respect and liking for them.

On a different note, I am struggling and am being frustrated with ANC. I love the people there. I am willing to help them in anyway possible, but, METHODS KILLS ME! They have activities after activities and pushing evangelism and making converts. The great commission was to make disciples, not make converts. As I fast and pray for Dad who is with Alvin Ng in the silk road mission, I am also praying and fasting for myself. That God would reveal His plans for me here in KL.

For now, its time to mug. Finals in about a month's time. Oh gosh!

Now what...

Here I am sitting in the library of college wondering what am I going to do with life. Just had a very depressing and demoralising band practice. ICA is next week, but we are far from being tight. Depressing cause I couldnt get the groove right, and I keep missing the attacks. I know I am not a talented drummer. I am not agile, I dont have a natural metronome, my playing is not tight. So much for the "you've improved" comments that I've been getting. Its like a slap in the face when I cant do something that I am told to and I am supposed to have improved.

What is going to be my selling point? What am I good at? Performance? Nah, I'm not technically good to be entertaining. Arranging? I might think I am good at it, but in truth, I dont think I am. Good ears? Nope again. I cant even listen to something and playback accurately.

Gosh, what am I doing in ICOM Berklee Transfer Program?! I wonder if I could even get in to Berklee.

Give time to have band practice, personal practice, study a few subjects, ministry, spend time with God...

Its a bad day for me. I wished I had more talent or something. Something that I could gain without working too much for.