Revivalist

A definition of a revivalist is: restorers of life and confronters of all that brings death, build refreshing, stir what needs stirring, bring healing and wholeness, rebuild and repair what's been broken down, reconcile, turn people back to the point of departure, are capable in God of resurrecting, brings rememberance of what has been forgotten, are torch bearers reignitting fires that have gone out.

From Joyce Goh, taken from the revival bible.

Christmas 2010

How fast this year past by. How fast things seems to come and go. How fast one semester ended and 6 months came and gone like the wind. Wow!!! This Christmas, though it didnt really felt like Christmas, was really different. The festive mood to celebrate and the exchanging of gifts seems to have disappeared. Well, I know that Christmas is about remembering the birth of Christ and the gift of life He brought by coming in the likeness of man, but with that isn't it also a time and season of sharing, loving and giving? I don't know, but I didn't really experience that much of love in Covenant coperately.

I do, however, receive little nice gifts from the people who mattered. They make Christmas every year a little more special and exciting. I am going to remind myself that next year's Christmas, I'm going to make different gifts and I might have to make like 50++ gifts. Cause everyone matters and I should do as much as I can to spread the love and the culture of sharing and giving.

Today indeed was a good day. I am happy and the day really ended well for me. Tired as I maybe now, but my brain is still wide awake and active enough for me to type this out. I talked so much today from BGR to the future to YAYA to future church leadership. Some were deep conversations and some were just fun talk/exchange. But nonetheless, they all meant something to me. Something to think about and ponder.

Though I have been away for 6 months, I always felt welcome back in CPC. It's like a home to me and I am so comfortable being there. Nothing wrong with that. It's not totally comfort zone as there are still stuffs for me to do which I don't like or enjoy. But I enjoying working there and all. I miss being an intern.

To my friends who mattered, I seem to be the friend who is physically away but yet always there. It's like when We meet up once again, we are able to just pick up our conversation from where we left off the last time. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, But I am thankful for the technologies which help to keep us in touch and stay connected. I pray that I can be the friend who is to you what I can really be. I know I am not perfect but am made perfect by Christ who is in me. There must be less of me and more of Him in every way and everyday of my life so that He may be glorified.

CPC YAYA is going to have a break through. Leadership roles are going to change. People are going to step up. Relationships are going to be re-established. The foundation of a supernatural culture is building up. God is going to fan in the flames of fire to fuel and reignite the passion for worship, fasting and prayer. The church will be so powerful because they are gonna fight the battle on their knees till God gives them the victory. And this glory, favour and power will be sustain in this generation and carried from generations to generations till Christ comes again. Each generation's ceiling shall be the floor for the next. There will be no stopping in the greater things which God is about to do in each generation. CPC will be a house of prayer, a mission sending center and one of the forefather in sustaining a culture for the supernatural works of God. A place of Love, where the Living Word comes to Life.

Telunas YAYA Camp 2010

Somehow the theme is so apt. Live...whatever for. As I think about it, I begin to realise that this is what I am living for, His people. I dont know if I am making sense to anyone. Somehow I realise that when I talk about things like this, it only makes sense to Joyce Goh.

I live to see God at work among the body. I dont know if it would ever change to mission or anything else, but I like to see how when I begin to love and show love to people in the body of Christ, stepping out of my comfort zone and just doing what I feel I am being led to do brings about a powerful encounter with God.

One testimony that I have from this camp is that when Zhiqi fell sick and was having fever, after the session that night I ask Joyce Goh to go with me to pray for her. The very next day she was well already. She could play, eat and attend the sessions with us all. I was so encouraged. Such obedience and leading by example, (there were young girls in the room who prayed with us) saw the work of God and their Faith that God would heal is so strong, like as if Zhiqi didnt get up and get well the next day, something must be wrong. As I think about it, I am soooo very awed by the grace and the work of God.

Lectio is as always, amazing. I wished I had the discipline to do this regularly. Sadly also, this time round I lost my camp booklet, the first time ever as it was blown away by the wind. But Wind is like the main theme for me this camp as well.

Wind and Water, the two most abundant elements in Telunas. Matthew 14:22-33 recounts of the story of Jesus walking on water.

What stood out to me in the story was in verse 30: "But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!"

Wind, it can both be an aide or an enemy. As I stood there on the platform with water above my feet, I was trying to feel what Peter felt. I was waiting for my faith in God to manifest a walking on water. Though that never happened, the wind and the lapping of the water around my legs made me unsteady at times. I knew now why Peter was afraid. It wasnt a feeling you could explain.

But God was teaching me, that when I begin to walk on water, will I be afraid of the wind? The gist of the thoughts I had was this:

Does going with the wind = doing the right thing?
Does going against the wind = doing the wrong thing?

Sometimes, going against the wind is actually the right thing to do. Not everything that is right is easy to do. But when done in His wind (the Holy Spirit) then things can be done easily.

Just a side note thought, a plane cannot fly if the wind is going in the same direction as it is. It flies only because its going against the wind which is pushing the wings causing it to fly. So if you want to fly, sometimes going against the wind is necessary.

I'm not sure if I am making any sense. But something good is brewing out of this camp. There is something good that is about to happen.

Last Night in KL

I am writing this at 3am. Tomorrow morning, or later in a more accurate fact, I am going back to SG. Sleeping this late is going to give me problems but I just re-watched August Rush and thoughts are again filling up my head.

As I watched the show, *screams* Keri Russell! and Johnathan Rhys Meyers, the two main and eye candies in the show, I thought that the not-so-perfect yet made-in-Heaven love story is something that I would want too. True its heart wrenching, madly rash (something that I rather enjoy doing) but the feeling is always RIGHT.

Have you ever felt that way? Oh I have felt that so many times. With some girls the feelings are stronger, with others it was there but not quite. I have yet to met a girl much like Vanny. She wrecked me without doing anything. The closest so far I would say that got me into something like this is Shan, but not the same level as Vanny did. Glenda did too, but it was love/hate relationship.

I have nothing to be proud of my love life. Its pretty much nothing, 1 ex-girlfriend on the list, 3 weeks officially and that is the end. But I have been trying to find this feeling with girls I have come by. What is this feeling? I guess its a combination of being able to connect without words yet talk about anything under the sun. She has flaws that are beauty to you and she always always look perfect.

Some people call it chemistry, some others call it X-factor. For me, I call it the fundamental frequency. You resonate to something, everything on this earth do. Every matter has a fundamental frequency and we are connected by this frequency. Why some people seems to be your best friends or you guys just click so well? Maybe they are diatonic to your fundamental frequency or they could be your harmonics, an integer multiple of what you are. Others just hit you the wrong way and you dont go with them.

August Rush reminds me of the very matter why I am studying in a Music School. I can find them. I can use the music I hear to find them. Who are they you ask? The lost. What lost? Anyone without Christ. Its been inside of me and its waiting to get out. Waiting to move out of my mind, out of my being. The music that would attract people to come and invite the presence of God. Its both a worship and a call. It speaks of the awesomeness of my God and its the heart cry of one who wants/needs/loves Jesus.

I know I am no prodigy or highly gifted or a talent itself. But I am glad that God has always given me the chance to learn and love music. And it began not because I was musically trained but because He first taught me how to worship. Music was just the form of it.

In school I tend to get caught up in the world. I keep thinking of making it BIG. Gigging in KL. Top session artist. Live sound engineer, studio engineer. Popstar/R&B producer, Arranger. I forget that deep down inside of me, all these would NEVER SATISFY.

What would then? God the Father who loves me, Jesus, my Bestest best friend, and the Holy Spirit, my teacher. A pretty loving intelligent wife. Adorable kids. Mum and Dad. My closest friends (6ix) and others. These are the basic things that would satisfy, but it would never be complete without being able to do what I love: Being in Worship. Dwelling in His Presence. Recording the heart of a worshiper. Mixing live sound for a church in worship. Even if doing all these, spending money on all these doesnt get me rich or famous, I dont really care. According to my Father's riches, I think I cant be too poor off.

"Guard your heart" These were the words I had before coming to KL. Up to now it still rings in my head. How easily these 3 words are forgotten when I see a girl who gives me a right feel.

Sometimes head knowledge is just all I have. I feel like I cant live out the life I wanna live, but I gotta hold on to that Faith. I wanna be rash, but I gotta weigh the consequences. I rather be obedient cause He knows best, but sometimes I give in to quick/temporary high.

Last night in KL. I know I am going to miss KL for awhile. I quite like it here, but I never really imagine myself being a tad emo/ a tad reflective/ a tad dreaming/ a tad in love and all these emotions just mixed up. Its quite a night I must say I hope I have enough sleep to drive back to SG tomorrow/later, whatever.

Have you ever wondered?

I don't know if this is real or if God when He created the world, did He ever thought of making an "Eve" for every "Adam". How can one person be so attached or in love with some one he barely knows and then take forever to let go?

I just watched "Hancock" and there it seems to have some explanation in there but that is hardly even biblical.

You know I wonder what was it when He made us. What did He placed inside of us so that we always tend to fall for a certain someone? I know many don't believe in "love at first sight" or "I was made for this one and only person". I too don't because I have fallen for a pretty good number of girls, but I never seem to ever let some of them go. I still pretty much think of Vanny, I still do think of Glenda, I still get interested in Shan's life and I do get a tinge of jealousy when they give other guys attention. I don't understand why I get so attached and put myself into so much misery.

I've been pondering about this verse:

For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
Psalm 139:13

I often wondered, why fearfully? What is it? Is it the awesomeness to be made in the image of God Himself? Please Lord reveal to me this secret that I may know what is upon Your heart!

The Case of "I dont know"

Today is submission day. Well for me its just another normal day where I'll go to school and hand in my work. For others, who have completed all their 5 assignments or more, it spells liberation. And yet for some who are still not done its a mad rush/hell hour/do or die moment.

What is so special about today was that about 2 weeks ago I told Shan that I'll talk to her after submission day since I didnt want to disturb her when she has so much work to do then.

I think we have not spoken or texted for the last 2 week. Well, I dont miss her like I normally would with other people cause she hasnt really impacted my life that much. But I thinking if I should keep to my promise and talk to her/ask her out after submission.

The latest I've heard is that she is sort of attached. I know that initially the reason to ask her out or to talk to her then was to confess my feelings for her. But now I dont think I wanna chase her anymore. Its not that she aint a good catch, but I just dont feel like it now. What I wanna do is to establish a friendship with her again. Our friendship got colder as I got closer to Sam and Dean. Perhaps old wounds hurts the most, but... I dont know, yet again. Its like I want to have a closer than friends friendship with her without the commitments and have some exclusivity. Sounds like an asshole, yea, totally huh.

Ok so what now? The easiest decision to make is this. If God opens a door for me to ask her out I will. Otherwise, status quo till whenever. Mugging now is more important for me...

Like seriously?

Your Favorite Color is the Key to Your Sexual Life.. A panel of psychologists, speaking at the 1975 Home Interior Design Forum, explained the association between color and sexual patterns.

Alvin Ong loves color Brown, below are the analysis:
If you love brown, youre a real treasure for the right mate. Brown lovers tend to be warm and deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of their partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you cant say I love you often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue is a turn-on to a lover of brown. They need lots of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh word could end the affair.

well maybe :P

Quiz name: Colour and your sexuality quiz

If this is true...

Dear Alvin Ong, based on test result, here is the analysis:
The one who will never forget you: Dean
The one who you can consider as your real friend: Samantha
The one you really love: Clinton
This may be your soulmate: Shan
The one you will remember for the rest of your life: Jessie

Then either I am a gay or Bi-sexual! LOL! but interesting, almost accurate.

Quiz name: Colours and names on Facebook

Dreams to Reality?

Last night I had the weirdest dream ever. Before I even start about that dream, I realise that most of my dreams are weird. Weird in the sense that its a combination of things that would never seem to happen and I have no idea what's its meaning. Best part of it is that I cant even place if its from God or purely my sub-conscious making up a fantasy world to satisfy its desire.

Anyhow, so this dream was about me studying in ICOM and it was the last paper of the semester. The things is that somehow, this isnt like ICOM. ICOM is small and all but this place was huge, much like Hogwarts kinda college. In a very majestic and like an ancient building/castle sort of.

So it was my last paper and I was happily going down the stairs when on one of the mid landings Nicholas (my best buddy and friend since secondary school) called me to hurry up go home to play World of Warcraft (I have not touch that game for ages by the way) and I was like ok, I will hurry. So as I was quickly going down the stairs I could hear a sharp whining sound of a generator that was over working and that sound was gradually getting louder and louder. Somehow the thought was AJ(Rafael the youtube star) was recording something and he over worked the generator and he cant switch it off. As the thought hit me, I ran for the main doors and just before I reach it, the generator exploded and the whole school was blown to ruins.

Somehow I know that God was the one who protected me in a dome like shield. I was unhurt even when the building was blown into bits. Like as though it was a single level building and its roof/walls were blown away. As I got up, I heard one of the staff, who is a good friend also, shouting "Why does thing happen every semester? Why do these students do stupid things like this and blow school up?!" I was surprised at what he said , after all, this is only my first semester here. But I was glad he is alive. As I walked around I found more of my friends who were alive but when I didnt see my group of people who I hanged out with I started feeling very sad. In my mind I assumed that they didnt make it out alive in time.

As the rescue team came and lead us away to the safety zone, I saw Dean (my best senior friend) and I ran all the way to hug him. I was so glad he was alive and he was here cause when the school blew up, he was eating and that group that I always hangout with was with him. I WAS SO GLAD! I hugged them all and was just happy that everyone was alright. Then I felt a hand tapping me. It was Shan. All these while I never noticed that she was there and I wasnt looking for her in particular but when I saw her I hugged her and she never let go of my hands after. As we waited in that safety zone for whatever reason, I held her hands and when she told me that she was tired, I held her while she slept.

Thats all that I remembered from this dream. I think I had another one, but cant recall at all now. But anyhow ya. Isnt this weird? Somehow I always dream of people I truly loved. I had one about Vanny, which I can still remember very vividly... now its Shan. I really wonder what is my mind or sub-conscious doing, or is this from God?

To be more Disciplined

Every single night I tell myself to sleep early, every single night I sleep about 3:30am. I am so lacking in self disciple. Once school doesnt set a schedule for me, I sleep late, wake up late and screw my diet plans plus I get a few additional pimples. Why cant I take it that I have to wake up everyday at 9am and if I have nothing to do I should practice. I am already so behind my "need-to" practice hours yet I rather do nothing and take things easy. Really a wrong time to relax cause exams are just a week away from now.

Last weekend feels so surreal, it was like a spiritual high and right after that weekend, everything dont seem to fall in place. I felt like I left God. I felt like that prodigal son who left home with all the good things his dad has given him and he felt like its time to party! I didnt do anything crazy or wrong but I have not been close to Daddy. Its like I chose to walk away. Honestly, I dont feel good. I dont feel good being far away from home. I may seem like I am enjoying myself, but deep down inside, I feel terrible.

Right now, I feel like finish blogging and go listen to some KV's podcast. My soul is very very thirsty.

I remember this story of someone who told this to his pastor saying,

"Pastor, I have been going to church every week and I dont feel that that has made any difference in my life. Why should I continue going to church then? For the past year I've been attending services after services and God knows I cant even remember last week's sermon."

The pastor gently reply, "Have you been eating?"

The man replied, "Why yes of course."

The pastor asked again, "For the whole of this year?"

The man replied, "Yes." He was puzzled at the pastor's questions.

Then the pastor continued asking, "And has eating ever made you feel any different?"

The man now was very very puzzled and he replied, "No, it hasnt."

"And could you tell me what did your wife cooked last week for dinner?" asked the pastor.

"No I cant remember." the man admitted.

The pastor then continued saying "So, you have been eating the past year and it has not made you feel any different and you cant remember what your wife cooked for dinner last week."

"Yes, that's about right" the man replied.

"Since there is much similarity between you eating and you coming to church as you first mentioned to me. So why not let me suggest that you take a year off church and eating. Maybe that will make some difference in your life."

The man was stunned. He hasnt thought about things this way.

The pastor then explained to him, "You see, we come to church and listen to the word of God being preach every single week. It might impact you that day, or it might not. But that is not the point. Just as you need to eat to survive, your soul needs to hear the word of God to be fed as well. This constant feeding will enable your soul to survive, much like how we need to eat. Once you stop feeding your soul, your spirit man will die, just as how the physical body would also. So now, would you like to try out my suggestion or shall I see you again next week?"

This is such a good reminder for me. Besides the word, I need to be in His presence also. But nowadays, I dont seem to be getting it. Feelings aside, I just need to be still before Him. I need to do somethings different.

Beautiful Imperfection

I was just browsing facebook whern I saw a video shared by my NS unit officer titled: Love Language.

Out of curiousity, I clicked on it to find out if the same one that we talked about in the YA. This video really changed my view on what perfection is and questioned my acceptance of others.

Watching this short video and the music that went along with it, stirred up a deep emotion within me. I was touched. I was touched by the simplicity of the love the guy had for this girl.

I was thinking, what if I were the guy in the video. Could I say that "You're still beautiful?" Would I have reacted in a really negative way and never want to see this girl again?

I find that yes, some people who are born with defect or are handicap either at birth or later in life seem to have much hate and self pity. But am I able to look pass that? Am I able to accept them first with their imperfection and then deal with the rest of these issues later?

I talked to God why I thought of them this way initially and why do I now seem to have a sudden deep empathy for them?

I thought hard about it and relating to the video, I felt that the girl is actually pretty enough for me to accept her for being deaf. I actually think that talking via writing is actually better for me cause I wont hurt her that much as compared to talking. I talk to fast for my own good. Words hardly go through my brains, it just come straight out of my mouth. When I write I have to think, how I phrase it and the spelling and all that takes a longer process then talking.

As I thought about this it sort of occurred to me that people who are deaf or mute or blind are sort of more creative. These defect/handicap seem to have made their other senses more acute. I mean God is a great God, He doesnt make anything bad. I have no idea how imperfections like these come about (like why did he allow the devil to steal or destroy this ability?), but I can live with mystery and above that I can live and wait out for a miracle to manifest. In the words of De wen, "I believe that its healed already. I'm just waiting for the healing to manifest." This is the greatest testimony that I think a person can give to God for. Not that He made a defect to make it good again so that He can be glorified. But I believe that in His goodness, He would never make a person handicap. We are born into a fallen world and the devil has come to steal kill and destroy. Whatever he has stolen or destroyed, we can claim it back in the name of Jesus and restore what God has intended it to be in the beginning. This is what Jesus meant by "on earth as it is in heaven".

Somehow thoughts like this scares me. Its like God saying "Nice one son, you finally got the idea. Now how about a wife who is really beautiful but is deaf/mute/blind? Would you accept her and love her like I do? Or how about a son/daughter who is deaf/mute/blind or any defects? Are you able to love him/her like I do? You know these thoughts brings tears to my eyes cause I feel the pain the Father feels when He sees His creation like this.

Yet He has a greater plan in Heaven to use you to manifest His love and His power just as it was written in Isaiah 61 and fulfilled by Jesus who read it in Luke 4:18-19, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He anointed Me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to PROCLAIM RELEASE to the captives, and RECOVERY OF SIGHT to the blind, TO SET FREE those who are oppressed, to proclaim the favourable year of the Lord". And we are able to do all these because "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." And "Greater things you shall do when I go to my Father."

The promises of Jesus never fails. His love never fails, His death has given us victory over any circumstances.

On the more human side of me, I was just thinking. If lets say I really do have a girlfriend who is beautiful and to die for but she is say, deaf. Maybe she is really creative and can draw very well (think prophetic art) or have an artistic eye (think photography). Even if she is mute, I think its still fine. I think I would only be upset if she is blind. I dont know how to accept if she is blind. I dont know why, that is what I was thinking about, what I can accept and what I cant.

But in anycase, right now, if God really wants to do something like this to me, like what I mentioned above, I am ready to accept someone who is deaf or mute.

"Perfect love cast out all fear..."

Tony Kim

That was the guest speaker at ANC last week from Fri to Sun and he is really a very normal person who is passionate about Jesus. He is very similar to Sarah, they both teach and the wanna activate the body to do the work and they take a step back and let Jesus work through others. He said his calling is to make others great. If you are doing better than him, he is going to be a fan of yours. He has no issues with you becoming greater.

Below are the points which I have noted for 3 different sessions. I enjoyed his teaching.

Session 1:
- Covenant family isnt about what I can get from you but what I can give to you.
(The context is that this is his first time in asia and first time meeting with Ps Chris and he knows that this isnt going to be the last time. He has a bond with this place)

- A new wave that God is creating with a new generation. (Generation here is defined as young and old. Not just the youths or the young adults. Its everyone who is living now.)
(He said this because he had a dream about asia and Malaysia and Singapore were one of the few countries he saw. He saw pillars of fire fall in these countries and revival happened in these places)

- Inheirtance is something that you get without you working. You are gaining someone's else's hard work. And if you planned this for generations to come, each generation will move in a greater measure because the legacy that is left behind will grow and each ceiling becomes the next's floor. The standards can only get higher!

- If we declare the good news but there is no demonstration, that is only half truth. Jesus declare and demonstrated what the kingdom was.

- With God there is no failure. So if you do not pass the test, you will have to keep doing it over and over again till you pass. This is how God works on your character. Each time when the test looks similar, ask God to teach you how to pass it. What character or which part of your life he is refining.

- David embraced the process of promise, so did Joseph. What you did in secret, any battle you win in the private will give you victory in public. (I wonder if its the same with sin, just that God wont expose it cause He is love)

- Attitude shows the position of the heart.

- "Jesus went and cleared the temple. Isnt our body also the temple of the Holy Spirit? Jesus who resides there wants to clear the tables and the altars that are not of Him. My house shall be called a house of prayer, I propose that you are that house, praying without ceasing!" - Tony Kim

- You have authority over what you overcome.

Session 2:
- When God asks a question, there is a point behind it. Eg, Who do they say that I am. And who do you say that I am.

The context is taken from Matt 16:13-16
Man needs affirmation but Jesus doesnt. It is always easy to answer a question directed at someone else but is it easy to answer one that is directed at you?

- If you wanna go to the next level of supernatural, there is a price to pay; Your Reputation. Do you dare to be ridiculous for God?

- Here we did an exercise: What does God think about you.
"You are an overcomer. You were made to rise up in a crisis and be a great leader. One of the 24 thrones in heaven belongs to you and you reign with me. You have a very gentle heart that loves like no other. That is why I love you so much, I am teaching you to love not just what is easy, or what you like but also those who are difficult and different. But you'll lose being cool around others."

- Thanksgiving increases the measure of God's blessings (as shown with the 5 loaves and 2 fishes)

- Be faithful with what you have.

- God doesnt endorse what we wanna do, but He endorses what we are already doing.

- Compassion is the ingredient to walking in the supernatural. Jesus did all these miracles because He sees what the Father is doing and also because He has compassion in His heart.

Session 3:
(Context of the message is taken from Acts during the Pentecost)
- Why do we gather as a church? One, it is to meet up and encourage each other. The other is to be as a body of Christ, waiting for Him to come and meet us. That is the way we party. With Him, in His presence!

- Prayer, God writes history on the backs of intercessors.
(The disciples then were just gathering and praying in the upper room.)

- The number 12 stands for government.
(They cast lots to determine who would replace Judas.)

- Before God pours out new wine, the wine skin has to be complete.
(The 12 member who replaced Judas completed the wine skin.)

(Here he went on to talk about church governance and the role of Apostle, Prophet, Teachers, Pastors and Evangelist. And on this current age where Pastors lead the church and people wants Teachers to teach on the word.)

- "We need to let go of being intellectuals. Yes, knowledge is good. I am not against studying of the word or knowing the word in its original meaning in Greek or Hebrew or anything of that such. But What I am saying here is that we need to let go and stop trying to understand or trying to comprehend what God is doing. Isnt it a wonder why we have no peace when the bible says that He gives us peace beyond understanding and here we keep trying to understand what He is doing." Tony Kim
(addition from Alvin Ong)
What we need to do now is to see where He is at work and join Him. Understanding of His will and what He is doing will come when He reveals His heart to you. He will tell you what He is doing cause in John 15:15 He promised that He will make things known to you as He has called us friends.

- True leadership is not about how much authority you have but how much freedom is given.

- Pursue love and desire gifts (of the Holy Spirit). The gifts of the five fold ministry is from Jesus (to His body, the church) and these are not chased after. They are given by Jesus as a calling.

- The role of the 5 fold ministry is to help the body do the stuffs that Jesus did! The five fold ministry is not only the governance of the church, its also the foundation of the church. That means that it gets stepped upon that others can rise up. Its servant leadership as Jesus demonstrated. How many understand that the bigger the infrastructure the stronger and deeper the foundation has to be.

- The bible says to make disciples of all nations. Not make disciples of all people. We need to know what we are doing. (Selah)

- The river that flows from the throne is deepest away from the throne. And that means our of our comfort zone if we wanna go deep. And the best part is that we can breathe underwater.

- If we were made to give, how did we get tired of giving? Its because we give away somethings that we are supposed to keep. That is when we get burnt out. If we give, we have to give away out of our overflow. How to be overflowing? To be in His presence continually. We are supposed to leak!

(This is in context of the story of Gideon. When the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, "God is with you, O Valiant Warrior." Gideon was then hiding in the wine press thrashing wheat. He was feeling insignificant and small but the Angel of the Lord called him otherwise, which is a prophetic declaration. The three words "O VALIANT WARRIOR" changed his life. Judges 6-7)

- God knows that if He allows us to do what He has promised but our hearts are not in the right position yet, we will proclaim that we did it in our own strength.

- God wants our hearts to be in the right position, totally dependent on Him so that He can work through us.

- When you see the bad side of things, ask God for what could be instead. And declare the instead, which is the gold in others.

Prophetic word from Tony Kim:
"You'll be playing more than just instruments. You are an instrument itself. You will be composing, producing and I see a record label in your heart. A name will be given for your label and you'll be releasing prophetic sound of heaven onto earth. I sense a strong Davidic anointing on your life and you will be teaching generations on how to live a life of worship. Fathering a movement for this generation."

Exciting times ahead yea? ANC is in its Kairos moment. I am so glad to be part of it. Here and now! It seems like where ever I go, I am part of the most Charismatic Protestant Denominations(eg, CPC: most charismatic Presbyterian Church; ANC most Charismatic Brethren Church) which are not known for being charismatic at all. I think I am an atmosphere changer, a radical :D

Interestingly Accurate

Dear Alvin Ong, below are your love test result:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You fall in love quickly and easily.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : In a relationship you give 50% and expect 50% in return.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to get the person yourself.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to see him/her a lot.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You love the person the way s/he is.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will tend to stay in love for a long time.

Different Ethnic?

I think I like Sabahan girls... Weird huh. But I connect with them pretty well. Even though I cant speak malay and then I become the joke... blah, whatever, they are cute :D

The Only Exception

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream


You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Timing

Timing is important in every aspect that I look at now.

Thinking of the opportunities that might have been present to play with excellent musicians, I find that in the end, it all come about because the time is right. Even for me now as I study music, its the right time cause I am old enough to think for myself. If I were thrown here earlier, I am not sure if I can manage it all.

In love, timing needs to be right also. Knowing when to pursue, when to let go, its all about timing.

Even in playing music, timing is very important. The common factor where everyone sits on. The time and space of notes and rhythm. Timing is so important no one can stress about it any further.

But what really amazes me is when KV was talking about time. God is in time. For us time is a measure. We can look back and now, but we can only predict or foretell the future. Nothing is certain. But God, He can move in and out of time and therefore He knows what is predestined and He chose you first before you chose Him. And if you are in Him, I am pretty sure that your timing in life will always be perfect. Why? Simply because He makes all things good for those who love Him.

My timing is bad, but hopefully improving. Learning to just keep playing with a metronome. And my life's metronome is God. Jesus Himself. To keep in step with the Holy Spirit and live by faith. Often I am too anxious for my own good and I dont know how to guard my heart. I think that is because the love-sick worshipper me has forgotten who is his first love. This is a season to make friends to work hard learn well and be prepared to bring more glory. I miss my Covenant Friends, people who would remind me that I was made to be different. So very often I just wanna drown back into the world and be satisfied there.

But I've learned a very important lesson today. Music is very powerful, it can influence and impact many cause its a voice that they can relate to. But each song is sometimes an escape for the composer/artist/singer and those who listen and can relate to the song. But these are all fantasy, a temporary high, a dream that they wanna be living in but isnt a reality. If you cant get out of a song and you keep living in it, you get into depression, if the song is depressing, or anger if its a frustration or anger kinda song. You get stuck in the persona or the mood of the song. And when it screws you, you look for drugs or whatever vices to find another temporary high yet again. So its a vicious cycle and then you end you life faster.

The point here is get in and get out. Dont live in the music that isnt right. Which is why I believe as a worshipper, living in worship for 24/7 is actually healthy and possible. You just need to know who you are worshipping.

Is it too early...

Is it too early to give up? I really dont know. But the more I know the more I wanna give up. No its not the stories others tell me that is causing me to give up, but the fact that there are so many guys out there who are interested in you. I feel like I stand no where cause you are not giving me the security that I need to invest on. I wonder, what do girls want or need? I have the capability to be financially stable. Though I cant prove it now, but I know I am cause I know who my Provider is.

I also wonder if its too early in falling for you. I should have guarded my heart more, but there was something about you that made me fall. That made me give in and wanna give up my heart. I held it there, plain for the whole world to see that I have placed it in a platter for you. You took it, looked at it and left it on the sides. I dont know anything anymore. I am one who cannot take competitions and I cant fight with others. I need to have a girl who is interested and then I give her all that I can. I love with a passion ad if the passion is being quenched, I will walk away so that my flame wouldnt die out.

I wonder how did you fill my mind so much. I never had this for a long time. You fill it up so much that every waking and sleeping moment, you're there. I often wished and hoped that that is how my relationship is with Daddy, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The same passion and the same level of desire. Oh, I feel so trashy now man.

I dont know what to type or say here. I am trying to let out all the bottled up feelings and be normal towards her. I'm going to step back. Yes I know that I invested a lot. I feel that it is la. 1 Paramore ticket, 1 autographed poster. I dont know if I have been so crazy over a girl. Though the items are few, the cost are high. Oh my gosh, I dont know why I am doing this also.

I am also questioning if I heard wrongly. Fighting for her or fighting over her? I dont know man. She is one girl that I find myself saying 'I dont know' all the time. What do I know now? I need to make my grades stay above 85. You know how people always say 'She is not worth your grades' but to me, any girls that I like, she is worth anything.

Yea, at the moment I am crazy. Yes I am. I hope I become better after tomorrow. I wanna get over her and concentrate on my studies. My future is going to be good, who ever is with me then will benefit. Sorry you cant see my future. But I'm not letting you affect it :D Tata till then...

Information Overload

"Its the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter" Proverbs 25:2

Today I had too much at one go. At least I am satisfied with all the information I have, but what I am struggling with is, what is next?

So it happened that my best buddy's girlfriend was looking for a lunch partner and I happened to be free. We went for lunch together and we just started talking about stuffs in college and life. We are good friends cause we hangout a lot and as we talked, our topic hit something that I was dying to know all these while.

We hit the topic about her and my buddy being together and the ex... the ex that I am now interested in. As a friend she gave me warnings and told me like how she was then. I know this is a very one sided story, but I was neither shocked or surprised. It was just a confirmation of what I have been thinking about.

Its a long story, but I think I would just type some of my thoughts here. I finally understood why she needed space. She isnt one who is like this actually. After the break up she had to learn to be independent and space is something she is learning to have. I can see how important relationships (not just those BGRs) are to her. She values them a lot. I also understood why she says that she is a tomboy, evil person, yada yada, cause past experiences has haunted her mind and the greatest reason why she said that she is single but unavailable and that she is unavailable even if there is no guy chasing her.

Her heart has been taken.

So basically, today or last night, the reason why I am still up typing this at this hour is because I hung out with her and my housemate and her 'mummy' (who is a guy actually) from 8:45pm till 2am. We were just chilling and talking. I must say that after observing her I might not like her as I used to. But there is this lingering feeling I have for her.

I dont wanna be a rebound (if she ever) guy yet I do wanna have a go with her. There is something special about her that I just cant place.

But more importantly I had a good conversation with DADDY. I realise that He is answering my cry. I have been on an emotional swing the last few days, not knowing what to do. (I realise that one thing that would kill me the most is not knowing what I need to know. There are somethings that I really need to know.) He allowed me to know the story and observe it for myself. Am I willing to train a princess from a place/state like that?

Actually I dont even know how to begin with her. I feel incompetent to even help her when she needs help. I am her junior and I need her help more than she needs mine. Plus she is older and I wonder if in the future, who would be bring bread to the table. Well, that is not important for now, but its a good consideration.

Why DADDY keeps saying to guard my heart. Imagine I progressed with her, I might not even know if I am he rebound guy or not. If He doesnt let me consider and fight and discuss with Him about her, I might not even be serious at the end of the day and I end up hurting her and myself. I've learned today that taking things slow has its benefits and 1 week, 2 weeks aint slow man. Somethings like this may need up to a month or more.

Somehow I realised that girls I like are mostly independent when they are single. But once they are in a relationship, they become a dependent sticky pot. Not a bad thing but I need my freedom and I need an independent girl. I really hope that this girl has learned to be independent, regardless of being in a relationship or not. And I might have to wait it out for her to be ready to move on and not just be in a relationship to forget or for rebound.

Well, I am more emotionally stable now cause I know that I have many factors to consider. I might deliberate more now and talk to DADDY about it more to get His insights. He surely knows best and I love Him so very much and I wanna thank Him for all that He has done for me. Thank You DADDY!

You're a simple girl...

I'm a simple boy too. Your tiny little actions and reactions and responses makes me happy too. I am now happy. Thank you Dad, Love You much!

He hears your cry

You know I was feeling bored. And yes, thoughts were creeping into my mind. And then just before I could think any further, I got invited to join a gig. Maybe, now gig-ing to me is a big thing cause I'm not that good but good enough sometimes, esp when you are desperate.

God hears your cry. In this case, mine cause I was bored and Minghan's cause he needed a replacement cajon player. This is a good place for me to link up and maybe network for gigs. I mean this maybe the motivation to be better and the reason to practice more.(This maybe the relationship I was looking for to help me enjoy practicing :D )

I am currently so happy with my results, 87 for theory. 88 for performance. 99 for acoustics. Mega happy now man. If only my practical skill level is also that high, haiz. I know I am an emotional roller-coaster.

I dont know where my life and all will end up to be. That dream of working in church or in studios or traveling round leading worship seems a little too unattractive. I wanna to gig with mad players of Jazz/Fusion/Funk but I am too lazy to practice. I really wonder what is God's idea of putting me in a music school for. I am a little confused...

I was made this way

I like to have a relationship with people. Knowing them, pampering them, giving them the best I can, in short, I like to bless others. But I know I am very bad at protecting one. If the relationship turn a little sour, I would not know how best to prevent it from worsening. At best I usually keep quiet and keep a distance. However, if the person decides to make up with me I would usually be easily warmed up again into what the relationship used to be. (that being said, I am not saying that I am always right and that people have to make up with me cause they were at fault. The fact is that I dont know how to start again to make good what turned bad. I dont know what to do cause I am not sure if my approach will worsen the situation. In this sense I am not very wise on what to do next. And often, after a long cold period, I would not be proactive in that person's life anymore.)

By now I and most of my like minded close friends would have realised that God is very relational too. He loves nothing more than being with you. He too like to know you more (not that He doesnt already), pamper you and give you the best He can give (which really is everything you can ever possibly think of!) But what He does best is loving you till you cant say no. And not knowing to me before, I was brought up and taught this unconsciously.

I love and I love with a passion. Guitars, drums, bass, music. I do a lot of research and arm myself with knowledge of that matter. I wanna know what makes it happen and all these back end knowledge is very important to me. Practical skills are important to me as well, but I am too lazy, somehow I cant find a love or a relation to get it going all the time yet. I need to find a way to do it. Perhaps things like these are too individualistic and I dont like it. I need to be around people.

Me, being me, loves with a passion mean I like to know a person I am interested in more. From what she likes to what she doesnt like. From what makes her happy and what makes her sad. Everything. I would find out what makes her tickle and what makes her tick. That's me. And I would pamper and give all that I can to the best of what I have to bless her.

Somehow, that scares girls. I dont know if any girl out there is reading this, perhaps you can shed some light on this to help me. But I am beginning to realise that God is not a lover in a rush. He is what I said above, pampering and all that, but He is never in a hurry. I think that is why He told me to guard my heart. Not that I shouldnt fall in love, but to watch how I fall. Keep that heart guarded so that I can hear Him and follow and not let my heart and mind wonder to nowhere and jeopardize the relationship.

This desire to be in a relationship has always been there. And now I am learning how to be a lover. There are times to be there and time to be away. If you are important to the person, she'll come back to you. I am saying this even though I hate it so much. I hate it cause what if you are not important? Then you'll be away till kingdom come?

I've never been so "gone" in awhile. Back awhile ago I managed to guard my heart and set my eyes on my studies. In just one short week I lost it all and almost went crazy emotionally. Thanks to Ms Pinyi that I remain sane. This time it was a combination of how I was in love with V and how I was with G. Now its like stalemate. Bad timing and I dont know what else. Giving her the space and time that she needs to complete her work first.

As for me? Hoping for the best. That is what Faith is about, in a God who loves me the most and in the bestest best way. This is my new season, from knowing the Father's love to knowing how to be a son and now knowing how to be a lover. Its true that we are Human Be-ings. We be-come like He who made us in His image :D

P is for...

PARAMORE! Yes, last night I was at PARAMORE's concert. Well, not technically last night since its 1:20am now... I was at PARAMORE LIVE IN KL, Bukit Jalil Stadium, 19 Oct. I have a photo with Hayley Williams (YAY!) and a autographed poster, which I have actually given it away. (ask me if you wanna know any great story that happened man :D)

The show was mind blowing. The crowd/fans were sooooo good, Paramore were very entertaining and I must say that the overall experience was fantastic, because I was there with someone who made it all special.

The next P is for Prophetic. This week I saw a level of prophesy I have never really seen before. Things that I say not quite consciously came to pass. As in I was kinda like half joking, half I might actually do it if it happens kind of remarks. And things just happened.

The last P is Power. "and you shall see my Power over this land that I have given you" This was the line I heard when I was about to type the last P. I didnt know what to say, but yea, this just came.

I say that I have been so blessed, protected, loved, grace given, favoured that nothing seems impossible to me anymore. Last week or two ago, when I said I wanted to live a life that is miracles filled is starting to happen now. My fuel has never run out to the point that the car dies, even when I am desperately late and running to get somewhere fast. He always provide me with a petrol station. I see the amount of favour in my life that I now I shouldnt be afraid of doing anything crazy out of obedience.

2 weeks ago, I injured my wrist while moving things for my school's show. Uncle Hock Seng asked that weekend in house church if anyone needed a prayer for healing. Well I didnt say anything but I told God that I wanted to help push for this culture of supernatural working in this natural. To see faith in this church like never before. So I told Him, heal my wrist so that I can testify for Him. Within that week, my wrist was healed. That same week, I was about to fall sick with flu. I took more vitamins and prayed that it will clear and the Faithful One healed me.

As much as I used logic and sense to take care or take better care of myself, I would not push aside the miraculous power that God has in my life. I believe that I was healed because He could just let it be and my illness would have been worse.

I would have more to say, if only I had blogged last week, but man, I was so busy with the Tribute to ABBA and Queen (which was a blast by the way) that I didnt have the time to do so.

My point is that God's power is now living in my life. I may not be as religious (or disciplined in the sense of religiosity,) but God isnt worried about the form. He looks at the core of the heart, the matter of things, the thoughts in the head and not the surface level of things that man can see. He is teaching me not to judge with my human eyes. I need to see with the lens of God, to know the heart of the matter. This is one of my biggest problem now. I see only the problems and not the heart of the matter or the man in this case. I believe that behaviour reflects what going on deep within, but He is also telling and teaching me that behaviour is not a fair judgment of a person's character. Though it does show the symptoms if any problems are arising but its not a point for judgment. It is, however, a great testimony and a very powerful one in fact when behaviour is able to show the glory of God. That is one of my next goals. and a belief that I hold strong to.

I feel really blessed at the moment, I've found someone to love. Though she is friendly, but I'm not sure if she is interested as yet... I am still getting to know her. I just did an open mic performance at Mosaic Community Studios and the audiences were so kind to Clinton and I even though it was really so last minute and so lacking in practice. I dont know why but I am so peaceful now typing this. I think its because Jesus is next to me now and He is just smiling and chilling with me. Leaving all the hectic things behind and being in this moment of realisation is just an awesome feeling. The weight of Glory can be felt and I am just being still now. (Live update)

Im just sitting still here, paralysed by the awesomeness of His presence and at peace. I am going to stop now to talk to Him.

Life of Miracles

I used to be a skeptic. If a miracle happened, I would like to find logical or scientific explanations first before even acknowledging that God could have put it all together out of coincidence or what not.

After I believed that Miracles can happen, I only believed that it should happen one at a time.

This experience with God and the promise I made to Him changed all these false beliefs radically.

Yes, for 2 years I have been exposed to the life of a supernatural disciple and I have experience supernatural grace, favour and provisions in my life. But due to the lack in seeing physical healing, my doubts and unbelief in regards to instant miracles started to creep in.

Friday after school, I arranged for my car to be sent to the workshop for repainting works and servicing. I left school at 5:30pm as I expected a jam and I had to be at the workshop by 6:30pm. I decided to use my iPhone maps since the last time I used it I managed to get to my destination.

This time round it decided to fail me. Firstly, getting there in a jam caused me to be a little late, so I prayed that the lady would have a customer and work late. Out of courtesy I called to inform her and she said that she is going to extend her opening hours by 30min. I thought thank God, now I have more time to get there.

Next, my fuel was running low.It was slightly above the red mark when I left, now it was in the red zone. I didnt see any Shell station on my way and I didnt want to waste time going to fill the car so I prayed that the petrol will never run out, at least not while I'm driving to the workshop. At 7pm the lady called me again and I told her that I was caught in a jam and I had missed the turn. That was when I started to panic.

One was that I was running late, two, I dont have much fuel left in my tank, three, I was rather far off the direction the GPS was giving me, four, I wasnt even sure if the GPS knew where I wanted to go exactly and lastly, because I was using the GPS on my phone all the way, the battery dropped from 70% to 6%.

Out of desperation I prayed that God, today shall be the day I see miracles happen in my life. Not one a day or a week, but all the time, any time. Miracles will happen because You are Love and out of Love You make all things good for those who love you. I wanna see you at work all the time. And I promise to share about this/blog about this if I get out of this perfectly fine.

That was when I made the right turn and came to a point where my GPS couldn't tell me what's next. Instinctively I made a right turn and I saw a rather familiar place and decided to turn in. Guess what? I was spot on that place I was looking for and the kind lady was waiting for me.

I cant express how joyful and thankful I was. Living in a life under so much grace produces miracles. Yea, small ones but still miracles no doubt. And I wanna press on and press into this new belief system that grace, faith and love produces miracles.

Last week was a hell-ish week: ICA2+Tribute+Friday Performance. I was in school from 8:30am till 9pm everyday. It was tiring, but somehow rather fun.

Last week I also read Exodus 1-4 as that was what my cell was doing and I found this very interesting...

I'm sure that you all know the story of Moses, how he was saved from being put to death and how he was raised in the Palace of Pharaoh. This is a boy who lived and grew up as the Prince of Egypt. What I found contradicting was that when he ran away after killing an Egyptian and was wandering for a long time, God met him in the burning bush and after showing him 2 more miracles, God asked him to speak to Pharaoh to let His people go and Moses response was this, I am not eloquent enough and am slow of speech and tongue.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE FOR A PRINCE?!

One: You were trained in the Palace, the number 1 place for education and to learn the language and all that. Your tutors were the best in the kingdom. How can you not be eloquent and say that you are slow in speech and tongue?!

Two: Being able to talk to God face to face is less scary than talking to Pharaoh who is merely a man?!

Three: How could anyone, after meeting God not feel encouraged or emboldened to speak to Pharaoh? Even after the two miracles that He has shown you, plus also the bush that was burning yet not consumed?!

This man who was raised as royalty, had seen miracles, spoke to God, heard His voice, was more convinced in his own inabilities than God's abilities. No wonder God's anger was kindled against him.

This story reminded me about how besides knowing one's identity, we also need to remind ourselves who God is. We can keep telling ourselves that we are prince and princesses, others can remind us of who we are, but the true power isnt just knowing who we are, but also operating under the right authority. If I know that I am a prince but I think that I have no authority, then I will be powerless. But I know my identity and I know who validates me and authorize me, then I can live a life of power.

Apart from all these, matters of hearts are highly fragile. Knowing what you want is very important, dont go round hurting other while you are figuring out what you want. And a promise is a promise, He will see it through, you can discern what is right or not in your heart. This is a reminder to myself... A very very STERN reminder.

Interesting Thoughts

Yes, its 2am now and I have replied 1 email, send 1 out and am starting to blog.

A thought just came into my mind just before I was about to write this blog. Where is the balance between sonship and discipleship? Is sonship higher than discipleship?

This morning at house church, Uncle Hok Seng shared a very interesting story that I really liked. In UK, apartments have backyards where resident can tend a garden or grow some plants for consumption. In the apartment that he lived in, he lived at the 4th level and from his window he could see the backyard of his apartment and some others in the neighbourhood. Some backyards are very well kept and some others were messy and ugly. But when winter came and snow starts falling, in a matter of a day, everyone's backyard looks the same. It was white with a thick layer of snow. The lives of people are very much the same as these backyards. Be it you live a clean and well kept life or your life is simply a mess, when the Jesus died for you, His blood like the snow covered our life and we all are the same.

There is no condemnation in Christ. And I really like this illustration. Now I understand the meaning of songs where it says that His blood cleanses me whiter than snow. In the literal sense of it and how His blood can cover the multitude of sins in my life and present me white and clean before God the Father. This truth is just amazing and it really rocked my world.

The second illustration was from Pastor Dexter from another church. He asked, "How can a fish, which has been living and breathing and swimming in the salted water of the sea for so long, needs to be preserved or flavoured by rubbing salt on it?"

The body of the fish didnt allow the salt in the salt waster to penetrate into its body. Like wise, we who are in the world must not be of the world. We cannot allow the salt(values) of the world to penetrate into our lives. We have to flavour our lives with the salt(values) of God. The salt(values) of God will preserve us and cause us to be flavourful to those around us. Salt cannot lose its flavour unless its chemical bonding is changed, therefore salt can only get diluted. So God's value in Christians are not lost, its that it has been diluted by the things of the world.

I dont know if you understood these illustrations, but its just something I would like to think about. If you have anything to say or point out, please do comment.

A flash back from the past...

there are some girls whom you can never have... but each time you look at them or do happen to see them, you're reminded of what made you fall in love.

Love never changes, Love never fails. First love always come rushing back, harder than you would have expect them to... ok maybe not first love as per say, but what made you sorta fall for them, perhaps it was love at first sight?

The Process of Promises

"Sometimes we forget that God takes a long time to work Suddenly."

"Gift of discernment anointed by jealousy becomes suspicion."

"Trials are not a test of character but the test of Faith."

"Sometimes we wanna protect the person we love. We wanna keep them safe and unhurt, away from the trials of life. But God is shouting to you, "Hey, I'm molding a great man/woman here, hello, stop interfering..."

"Everyone has trouble, under the surface, everyone has their struggles."

"There is no temptation except that which is common to all men... and women."

"Buying things externally doesnt fix things internally"

"God provides a way of escape so that you could pass through it. 'Escape' and 'pass through it' dont seem to go together. Escape means I get around it, but God says, you're going through it."

"Temptation is not sin. For it to be a temptation I need to have a natural desire for it. It has to draw me. It is when I agree with the desire that I have sinned. Eg: When a naked beautiful woman runs up to the stage now, all normal men in this room would be tempted. It is when in my mind I say "I want her, I like to have sex with her", that is the point when I have sinned. You dont even have to touch her or do anything physically, when you agree with the desire in your mind, you've sinned."

"Temptations are the trials that are molding you. Your job is to manage your appetite, not get rid of it. Manage it"

"Now Joseph got thrown into prison (because he resisted the wife of his master and got falsely accused of raping her.) and God says that he is a successful man. Not because he was in prison, but because when he was thrown into prison, he gained favour with the chief jailer and became overseer of all the prisoners."

"When you put a prince into a prison, he makes the prison a palace."

"Your inner world determines your outer world, not vice versa. You're supposed to live from the inside out."

"No one can make you happy, sad or depressed. You choose to have whatever attitude you want. Nobody makes you mad, you chose to be mad. Mad is in there and the circumstances drew it out of you. You cant draw out what isnt in there. Trials dont make you mad, trails just reveals what's in there."

"If you give birth to something prematurely, you need an artificial support system to keep it alive."

"Favour is a trial"

"If you need money, you dont ask for blessing, you ask for money. Cause God's idea of blessing is not the same as our understanding. God is in people making business and God uses trials in your life to mold into the person that He's called you to be. When God says you will be blessed, God lives in eternity, time is not a measure or factor to Him."

"How many of you figured out that God is not in a hurry? When God says "I am going to bless you", God is going to bless you. His idea of blessing you and your idea of blessing you is not necessary the same."

"The blessings that we are experiencing right now, is the years that we have been sowing for the past 20 years."

"God does not measure success the way you measure success."

"Look at King Saul. God delivers him 2 victories against the Philistines and God commanded that kill them all, let none live, yet King Saul kept some sheeps and the Philistine King alive. And God sent Samuel to Saul to tell him that God has split his kingdom into two and give it to someone else. You may look like you're winning, but in fact you're the loser. Your circumstances may not look like it seems. You may think that you are losing, but God is training you to be a winner."

"Obedience is better than sacrifice."

"God is not against wealth, God is against wealth owning you. God doesnt care that you own money, He cares if its going to own you. That fame doesnt own you, that significance doesnt own you. That God alone owns you."

"And our job is to make sure that we dont make agreement with temptation, so that God can take us from the pit and the prison into the Palace. And when we get to the Palace, we wont be like King Saul, when we get into the Palace we can stay in the Palace cause we have beaten our giants little by little."

-Kris Vallotton (some parts have been paraphrased by Alvin Ong)

In whose hands are you in?

This question came back to me once again and I just cannot ignore it anymore.

Remember that time I mentioned about my social visit pass expiring and how there were complications? Well basically upon receiving the bad news I texted my mum and the text was something like this:

"Hey mum, my student visa is ready, but there are some complications now... Basically, my social visit visa ended 3 days ago, and now I have over stayed. For each day there is a fine of about $30. Nothing can be done now cause today is Friday. So pray for me that I will not get into trouble with the law and that the school will be able to help me settle this. Dont worry mum, I'm in God's hand."

Well, last week when I went back for my term break I attended service and Pastor Keith was preaching on something similar. I really loved the example he gave and how the perspective of things can change when it is in the right hands.

"A basketball in my hands is worth $19, but a Basketball in Micheal Jordan's hands is worth $33 Million.

It depends whose hands its in.

A Tennis racket in my hands is useless, but a tennis racket in Roger Federer's hands is a Wimbledon Championship.

It depends whose hands its in.

A rod in my hands can keep away wild animals, but a rod in Moses's hands can part the red sea.

It depends whose hands its in.

Two fishes and five loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches, but two fishes and five loaves of bread in Jesus's hands can feed five thousand.

It depends whose hands its in.

Four nails and two planks in my hands may produce a bird house, but four nails and two planks in Jesus's hands produced salvation for the whole world.

It depends whose hands its in.

You see, what drove me to write this post was the frustration that I had to deal with when my Dad was worried and he did his best to help me. Please dont get me wrong, I love my Dad and I really appreciated what he was trying to do, but I was upset that he didnt trust God enough that I was in His hands. He called his friend in MFA who contacted his friend, who works in the embassy, in that country I was in and he kept calling and making sure that I wasn't captured by the police or that I have gotten into any trouble.

Let me say that I do not boast in doing what is wrong yet I did not receive any punishment for it. My point here is to say that the GRACE that I have received is not from man but from GOD. I look at Him in all circumstances and not to my surrounding. Yes, when my Dad told me the severity of the issue I got scared, when I ask a lawyer in that country about the issue I got worried again. But all in all when I see God's hand at work and how all things work out good for those who love Him, I just cannot take it lying down for the lack of faith.

With this incident I am very very sure that my life is in Jesus's hand. I have no problem in putting my faith in God. If He told me to jump off the cliff, it wouldn't sound stupid to me cause I would have enjoyed the thrill of falling, and I believe there must be something He wanted to show me that can only be seen when falling off the cliff, and if that fall caused my death, I would then have met Him in Heaven for eternity. If I didnt die from that fall, wouldn't that be a miracle and a wonder? What a great testimony that would be of a God who never fails! Faith is spelt RISK. In Hebrews 11:1 its says " Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

I am sure and certain in whose hands I am in. How about you?

Awesome Explosion

This weekend has been a blast. Oh Lord how can I ever thank you for that. Its level of Divine-ness is firstly too much to comprehend and the amount of company was overwhelming. Jesus, you are BEYOND amazing!

This weekend was they Hari Raya weekend and ANC has invited Mr Watchman Ngiam and his team (Shih Yang-CPC, De Wen-GTC, Wilson-GTC, Alice Ong-GTC) to come speak and minister to us. It was my term break week and I had a good time catching up with friends and eating good food.

I knew Watchman was coming up to KL to speak and I planned to go back earlier to catch him. Little did I know that in His awesome ways, He managed to plan a drive up to KL with Watchman, his team and 4 pretty ladies. En Min, Eunice, Joyce and Pat JieJie all came up with me to KL! What a bonus!

I drove Pat JieJie's car, a Sabaru Legacy and woooooh, this car is really powerful. Low rev engine with great horsepower. Fell in love with the car the moment I sat in the driver's seat!

The plan up for this trip has been difficult. Issues were flying all over the place and I really felt bad inviting them to come up with me. However, we all felt that need and the desire to come to KL. We knew the trip was much needed, but honestly I didnt know why it mattered so much.

I'm going to cut the story real short and am just going to capture the essence of this blog.

We arrive in PJ on fri and session one and two began. As we only slept about 2-4hrs the night before, we crashed really early on fri. Sat morning we had a lesson on Sozo and a little bit on Shabar and in the afternoon we had Treasure Hunt. After treasure hunt I kept telling De Wen that since we ended so early lets hang out and so after dinner about 8:30pm we hangout till 3am.

Well, we started just talking and sharing at first, but as we talked, Wilson started asking some questions and things got a little more serious. (I realise that Wilson's style is quite the facilitator kinda and he loves asking questions) Later Wilson shared with me that when he saw me on fri morning outside Watchman's house, he knew that he would be having a divine appointment with me. Well what went on was this.

He started asking me, " What can God do for you? "

I thought that this was a rather odd question. I mean, there are wants that I tell God, but there isnt anything God can do for me cause I dont have a problem in that sense. I love to do His will and whatever He pleases to do with me, I'll do. He then later explain that God loves our thoughts. What we say to Him matters. Obedience is good, but God didnt create Robots, He created Human Beings, who are made in His image breathed into life by His breath, and that is why we can think thoughts like His and what we think matters to Him, even though He knows it already.

God called Moses friend, because Moses understood God's heart. When God wanted to destroy Israel, Moses managed to talk God out of it. Did you actually think that God didnt know all that? NO! He knew and He wanted to see if a Man, Made in His own image could ever knew and understand the heart of God.

He then told me that he sense that the level of Love God has for me is so great that He would stop all that He was doing and focus all His attention to me when I call out to Him. I was really happy at that revelation. In fact my name means Beloved of all. And how precious this truth is to me.

Wilson then went on to explain to me, many things that happen like Miracles, Signs and Wonder and even Salvation is acted upon this thing called Love. God is love. To understand Love is to know God. In Him there is perfect Love. We can be chasing signs and wonder and all that even gifts but of what use are these when we do not know the back-end of why they even happen. The point in tell me this is that Miracles, Signs and Wonders are good, but God wants me to go with Him to the next level, to understand the power of Love and Grace. These two are the mechanism behind all things that happen. We all know this, chase the giver not the gifts, but this is easier said that done. The gift excites people more than the giver. Its only when you have a relationship with the giver would the gift cease to excite and become truly useful to you.

This divine appointment I have with God and Wilson is that God wants me to know that this is my Kairos moment. This is the 'level up' time. He told me that there is this secret place that I know for me to meet God and there many mysteries will be revealed to me. he told me that the key to this place has been given to me and I can access it. He also told me that he met the Arch Angel Gabriel and Gabriel gave him a blue mantle and that he is now passing it to me. He also told me that the Angel of Host that I've seen before is an Angel appointed to the nation of Singapore and that I carry one of the puzzle and key to a great movement of God that is going to be poured in His Kairos moment. He also added that there is a core within me that is going to burst forth. He said that is like a nuclear explosion.

That was the word I had that very morning while having breakfast with the girls. The word Awesome Explosion came into mind.

I want to talk to Wilson more, maybe email him or something to prick his brains and his thoughts on some questions that I have. I can feel the excitement in God's heart as I realise more about Him and His thoughts towards me. And as Wilson revealed to me the destiny he sees in my life, I am gearing up to be ready for that moment that is yet to come. A great sense of excitement and anticipation is flowing all over my body as I type this out.

My goal for the rest of this year and this season in time is to learn more about God from that Secret place and to live and rule from the heavenly place that God has placed me at with Jesus.

Grace + Favour + Love

Today truely an awesome day. There is so much to give thanks for even if the day didnt start well at all.

But before I continue, I like to thank all TEACHERS and wish them a HAPPY TEACHERS DAY (yes, even though I know I am one day late). To you who have taught me before in one way or another, THANK YOU! Your influence in my life is so important for you taught me all that is good and you have inspired me to gain more knowledge in all that you have taught. Thank you!

Teachers. I know this is off topic but it just came to mind and its so important that I say this. Teachers are very crucial to a child or any learning person. A teacher can encourage and inspire. He or she can change and mould a mind. The influence of a teacher to anyone is really great. I am speaking for myself, I need a good teacher to help me improve in anything or in anyway. Though sometimes I out grow a teacher, I am never looking down or disrespecting that person cause he or she has help me get to where I am today. Teachers show you that something which you once think is hard to do or impossible is not all that impossible. They show it to you and teach you what they have found out about it and give some tips on how to get there in a shorter period of time and what mistakes to avoid.

In my short time in ICOM, I am known as the "Acoustic for Musician" tutor. And teaching a bunch of people around my age in school can be tiring and takes a lot of understanding on my side. I now understand and have a taste of how difficult teaching can be. Today, I appreciate a teacher more and value good teachers as precious gems. I think what keeps a teacher going, or me in this case, is interest for that subject and a good teacher who makes the learning process a much more enjoyable one. He has never failed to "wow" me when he teaches and with his vast knowledge and experience in this subject, he truly make time fly in every lesson.

I am glad to say that in ICOM I have a few teachers who inspire me and encourages me to do well. Even when that dreaded feeling of giving up comes slipping in, they are the ones who prevent it from over taking my mind. I really thank God for all the good teachers He has placed in my life.

When I think back about the time I was in Polytechnic, I realise that I did tutor some people, like Nick and Sas, but I was never so confident in teaching then. Perhaps, this is the new grace that God has given me so that I can teach others. Be it bible study or supernatural ministry skills, He might be lining up a path to teach and impart. I thank God that through teaching, you can say how much you know about a subject or topic and the level of understand you possess. A student usually look up to a teacher and the positive influence you place on that person, is essentially the ability to place Godly values in his or her life and shape character, behaviour and mindsets.

Ok now back to topic. Why Grace+Favour+Love? I've seen all of these happening in my life more and more now. Even when things go bad, it will always end with a consolation. God never seem to let me fall beyond a certain level. In the past two weeks I was not a legal person in a certain place as my visa had some complications. To make matters worse, I cant even go back home during my term break because of this issue. But as of today, it has been settled and all is good once again. I can now go home for my term break!!! I thank God for His grace and favour over this matter cause I was driving about and any road block would put me into serious trouble. He watched my coming and my going and provided for all my needs. Thank you also for everyone who has been praying. I'm sure your prayers touched His heart and He acted upon the prayers and praises of His people. Thank you!

Today, first test in the morning sort of screwed up. Sight Reading and Group Performance. After that lousy session, I went for a dim sum lunch. That made up for the sucky morning. Then went back to school to revise and tutor some people for the afternoon test. Revision was draggy and long. I had taught so many people in that short period of time. Answering questions after questions. Some of these are even repeated questions, but as I taught, the answers got stuck in my head and it kinda helped me to memorise :) Then the time for the test came and I was surprised at how easy the paper was! I thought its going to be hard test but it was easy and I felt so confident doing it. I hope to get at least an A- for a few mistakes (as usual due to carelessness) that I spotted after I came out of the examination room.

After the test I went to practise for my guitar private lessons. I had one hour to practise and I did it so seriously that when I check the time again, it was time for class. He taught me, encouraged me even though I didnt do very well. Good teachers are those who know when to push a student. And when to teach new things. I felt relieve after class and the want to continue practising and playing is recharged!

By this time it was 6pm and I was tired and hungry. I went to my car only to find out that my car battery DIED! OMGG.COM!!! I called one of my good friend in college to come save me. He said, "No problem la dude, the gas station next door can help you." And it sure did. They help me get someone to jump start the car, but the fellow who came said, "Cannot la, the battery flat already, cannot jump. I replace new one for you." In my mind I was thinking, "Oh no. This is going to cost a lot, maybe he is cheating me. The last time dad changed his car battery I heard it was 300RM." And then he said," Battery 145RM, Service charge 20RM." And I was like, whew, OK! Do now please. And I asked my friend if its ok, he said that it was reasonable. Then a few other college friends saw me and my friend standing by my car came over to ask what happened and then accompanied us until the uncle finished replacing the battery and all. They were so nice to accompany me though it was late and they too were tired already.

After the battery was replaced, most of the car electronic systems were working. Stuffs like central locking, and the engine time belt, all worked properly. Thank God that I didnt have to walk home and the car left dead outside school!

As I look at my life so far here in KL I can see the obvious GRACE+FAVOUR+LOVE that He has showered. From a caring church to loving God parents+adopted family, from school work to friends, He has made them all possible for me.

Your LOVE never fails. Thank you Jesus!

Selamat Hari Medeka!

Happy Independence Day!

Yup 31st of August marks the day Malaysia became an Independent State 53years ago.

31st Aug also marks the day a dear fellow brother leaves KL, Malaysia for the UK to further his studies, kinda like his independence day also.

Time flies, the last time I blogged was the beginning of Aug and now, its the last day already. In between this time many things happened. Some good, some bad, but in all, I am so thankful for all that God has done and given me.

I dont really have a pressing thought or anything to blog bout now. Maybe I would after this week as now its exam period. All that's in my head are the topics which I've been studying.

One random thought is this: Yes, Malaysia, like Singapore, have many girls who suit my taste, but yes, like always, I only see them from a distance.

Home

People ask, do you feel homesick? Do you miss home? Do you miss people back in Singapore?

Right now, with all honesty, no.

Why?

I ask myself that question too. Why dont I miss home, why dont I feel homesick?

The first thing that I can think of is that maybe I was made this way. I was made to travel, made to move, made to adapt, made to make home wherever the Lord leads me to. My wish or dreams was to be a traveling worship pastor. Maybe that is how I was wired.

The next thing that came to mind was the people. People in school, people in PJ. They feel so much like home. They have almost the same config as the people back in Singapore. Just that I use lesser hokkien, and more English, a bit of my limited Malay and limited Cantonese. Other than that, yes, its not that different.

But I do miss the convenience that I get back home and the people who makes all these convenience. I miss mum and dad for their great love and all the sacrifices that they make. Gugu for all the housework and cooking she does. Its really a headache to do all these chores. My sis who help me get good stuffs at cheap rates and a younger brother who is ever so helpful. I wonder why I dont say these to them, but I guess its an asian culture not to show too much love, which is something I wanna break away from.

What else do I miss? Yea, my crazy bunch of friends from church. I miss hanging out with them. I dont know what to say, there is quite a bit, but all in all, I miss being with like minded people in ministry. I dont yet have one here, as in one that I throw myself in like when I was in CPC. But my worship team and YA comm, I miss them very much. And of course my God parents. I miss meals and coffee sessions. They are luxury back then.

So what is this post exactly about?

Well its about a thought that I had. I was just thinking, what is a home? What is it that people would go back to a certain place called home. What exactly makes a home?

As I ponder, I feel that what a home should be is this.

A home should be build on love. Perfect love. Let me elaborate, some parents or older sibling show love in a harsh way. They use unkind words or do deliberate actions to 'rein' in a child. But our Father God chose to give us freedom, He knew that we, as His children, know how to handle freedom. He didnt rein us in, let us roam free! And that freedom needs to be communicated. You are free to do whatever, but know that you are free because perfect love breeds freedom. And in that love, trust is given. You trust that the person you love, knows how to handle the freedom and that he/she wont choose or make decision that hurts the relationship between you and the other person. Have this communicated, so that the responsibility is on the child. He/she will learn to think and make decisions for him/herself.

You on the other hand have to be prepared for failures and hurts that come. With love, hurts may come, but know that the greater the hurt feels, the greater the love is. Simply because the love you have for the other person is just as great as it hurts. But dont stop loving just because it hurts. I assure you that when Christ said He would send a comforter, He would and the Holy Spirit will heal and refresh your hurting heart. Besides, Christ is the perfect love. If you have Him in your heart, you will be loved always.

So you hope that the child wont fail. You hope that he/she will protect the relationship and make the right decision. But what happens when things dont go right and it hurts? I suggest that you embrace it. Embrace the failure, accept it and bring the child back to love. I remember that Cheryl once told me this: Love the sinner, hate the sin. So how to do that? Dont punish or guilt trip the person, shower love. Help the person to fight the sin. That means to be accountable to each other and then clear up the mess. Reinstate and remind them of their identity. The sin is not going to be their identity. The devil tempts them to sin to steal, kill and destroy that identity that they have. Walk through with them this period of time till things are all made right. Christ died on the cross for our sins and he rose victorious from that death. That means, no sin is too great that He cannot forgive or conquer. So we fight and love from victory.

So after all these thoughts and ranting what is in a home? Basically its an environment of love, a culture of trust, and a safety net for people to fall. Knowing that home is where I am accepted even if I fail, is where I am trusted to make things right again, is where I can fall safely. Home is a SAFE PLACE.

And if every home is just like that, imagine the church which is made up of many homes. I want my church to be my safe place. A place where Love grows and impacts the atmosphere, a place where trust is our core value and a place where I know I can fall safe. We celebrate diversity among individuals, cheer on good works and share warmness by simply remembering names.

I know I am rambling and going on in circles, but I hope you get what I mean and what it is I really wanna say. Its late now and I better get some rest.

Week 4, PJ!

Right right, so I missed out on week 3? and week 4 is almost over and its 1st Aug! Time flies huh? But I felt like I have not been doing anything yet so far.

Well, last week Dan came over to visit and we stayed over at Ming Yue's place on friday night. I was playing for their Sat service and I was glad I did. I missed being with God's people together in worship and just being a community.

The family were really nice, took me out for a nice dinner with the grandparents and I really am so thankful and grateful for their kind gestures! They are really really very generous!

Other than that, When I came back from Singapore the week before, I brought back a lot of things which included a electronic drumset and my lovely Yammy!

This week, I am here again at the Ho's place and extended my stay from Friday till Sunday and attended my first house church meeting. I am honestly getting used to how a house church is done. Its a little different but, I think its ok, I just need some getting used to.

Uncle Hock Seng is really a good leader. He has a real pastoral heart and I really want to learn from him. The thought in my mind this morning is to ask him and his wife, Auntie Chooi Kuan to be my spiritual parents while I am here in KL.

Anyhow, God has been really good. I felt this week was really a good week, Praise God that everything went really smooth. It was good that I had good teachers, schedules have been finalised and things are getting on the way.

I even had the opportunity to watch a really awesome funk/jazz band, PHUNKMOB at a really nice cafe, Nerofico. They really blew my mind away as in what is Jazz. Totally enjoyed myself this week.

Last night, I also had the opportunity to watch Ming Han and Ming Yue perform at the finals of Unplugged2010 at ACTS Church. And guess what, THEY WON!!! Champions of Unplugged2010! Honestly I shouted and screamed and cheered so hard for them when they went to collect the trophy! I was really so happy for them.

And ACTS Church is really cool, its what I have thought about, bringing some level of professionalism into the church. Not have it like a dead serious place but a place where people wanna come again and again and putting God first in all areas of Ministry under the leadership of an apostle. So that God's Presence plus ambiance help facilitate or allow people to be in comfort. The leaders in ACTS church are also very warm, something hard to find in churches today. They have an open minded culture that celebrates and cheers people. Its a good culture.

And just a while ago, the house church group brought me to Betty's Kitchen to celebrate my belated birthday and the food was SO GOOD! American styled Kitchen serving RIBS! So YUMMY! Really really, this has been a great week. Thank you LORD!

I've just been thinking about my goal in studying music again. Thinking about it because, can I go to a very high level and standard, even if I am not in some sense going to be worshiping God but being in the marketplace? Is that my calling, marketplace or is it still the church and in the area of music/worship? I dont know, honestly, but all I know is that no matter where I go, what I do or how screw up I end up, God can use it all for His glory. All that matters to Him is an obedient heart that loves Him.

I Love you Jesus, with all my heart I do.

To My Dearest Marie

My internet is a little cranky at home and I cant do much. Twitter isnt responding and Facebook is lagging so I've decided to put this here. I love you Marie.

Mariedigby: Hey, I'm a great fan of yours, met you in Singapore when you launched Breathing Underwater. So Sorry to hear about your Gibson. I feel the pain you must have felt. Pls take care, I believe that if its not playable anymore, something better is on its way real soon :) Hugs and love, aLvin

Week 2, its hell!

Ok, today isnt my best day at all. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong.

Let me start from the beginning... Lessons today was scheduled at 1pm, means that I have the morning off to do my stuffs. I thought that Friday was good since there was only 1 lesson and it was in the noon.

I woke up at 10am, cause the night before I went to watch a gig by the seniors in my school and boy were they awesome. Really inspired me to practise real hard to be at their level. And they reconfirmed my claims that if you want your band to stand out, you need a really pro bassist. They are the X factor to have a really exceptional band.

Ok, back to the day. I woke up, thinking that I had a lot time to do my stuffs, so I went to wash a load of clothes and decided to make omelette for lunch. Before cooking, I kept my clothes that were washed the day before and started the prep for the omelette.

The first thing to screw up was the clothes. I put in a new towel and 2 pieces of clothing. I didn't know that the new towel would have the wool falling off and now my shirts have white fluffy stuffs all over. It was so hard to get it off.

Next while cooking the omelette, I accidentally left the plastic stir fry stick in the pan for too long. It melted and got stuck to the pan. Mega fails. Then trying to rectify all the problems, I forgot that I had class. I rushed to bathe and change and then when I came out of my room, my housemate told me that a cat sneaked into the house and ate my eggs! I had to throw away the entire portion.

After class, I went back home, packed my stuffs and had quite a bit of time before my flight. I prepared to leave house 3hrs before departure time. But the thing I never expected happen. From my house to KL Sentral was ok. Timing wise I was on time. Upon arriving at KL Sentral Bus pickup point that I realise that I just missed the bus by 10mins. I thought that the time interval is 30mins and when I check again, it wasn't. After 7pm, it changes to 1hr time interval. And I planned a 30ride to the airport, but the schedule showed 1hr15min. At that time, I thought I could reach the airport 30min before time and just walk to the gate, but no I was sooooo wrong.

Against wasting money verses missing the flight, I decided to have faith that I could be there at 9 for a 930 flight and still make it. I reach the airport at 9 and the ticket office told me that it was impossible to get onto that plane. I was devastated. I had to check in 2hours before hand! At that moment, I didn't want to waste time and I paid 42RM to get to KLIA to see if I could get any other flight back to Singapore. After 1hour of trying I gave up. Malaysian Airlines last flight back was full, both economy and business class, all the other airlines were closed. Took a 2.50RM bus back to LCCT and bought a ticket for the first flight back to Singapore.

Thank God Airasia counter wasn't closed yet. I was the 3rd last passenger who managed to buy a ticket. Now I am typing this off my Macbook Pro at Macs waiting for my flight at 615am.

School's fine. I realise that the pace of the teaching is good for me. Since I have to take theory, some lessons overlap. I need to work harder after this weekend cause I have not had the time to revise the lessons taught in the week. I really want to do well. I cannot afford to have any back log.

When I get back to Singapore, I will be so busy. There are so many things to get, both for school and for personal uses. In Malaysia not everything is half priced. Some things here are even more expensive than what I could have gotten in Singapore. I'm tired and bored and I wished I have a bed now!